Three Motherlands ~ One Loving Family

So Cowgirl and I Are Off to China Tomorrow ...

2010-10-13T11:49:00.003+01:00

And what has felt like a 'surreal' possibility for so long, is suddenly quite real and now the 24 hour clock is ticking!

This is a particularly huge adventure for Cowgirl - her first time back in China since we became a family 4 years ago. And my first time back in my daughter's homeland since she was placed in my arms.

China - the place that I emotionally struggled to leave. The place we had to take her from in order to give her a decent chance at life. That last day in Beijing before we headed home with our new daughter in July 2006 was filled with such intense emotions for me. I felt torn between what seemed like two conflicting desires: I couldn't wait to get home safely and continue our lives together, and yet, at the same time I felt such a deep sorrow about taking her away from the birth culture that she should have been able to grow up in safely and lovingly. But that wasn't an option for her given her arduous start in life. So ... I said 'good bye' to China that day with such a heavy heart. And I sobbed for the entire 12 hours of the flight home - a culmination of emotion that held its roots in so many experiences. I’ve never really been able to articulate what that felt like - four years later and the words still haven't come to me properly.

So for weeks now, I have held intense emotions at bay, though every day I feel them bulging in my throat wanting to burst but I know if I do that, the fountain of all that is in my heart may not stop flowing. And this adventure we are about to embark on is as much for my daughter and what she has 'lost' as it is for the charity mission we are embarking on for Hope4China's children.

And because I am so aware of the depth of emotions that are going on for me in my heart ... I am even more intensely mindful of the many different emotions and reactions that Cowgirl must already be feeling. She doesn’t know how to speak about it all yet, of course. But her recent clinginess, and her restless sleep some nights, and her general need for a thousand percent more cuddles lately ... all tells me, loud and clear, that this is a BIG BIG BIG adventure for her. And perhaps her young wisdom is more in tune than I am giving her credit for.

I hear myself thinking, perhaps selfishly, that I hope this visit to China triggers some questions for her. Because there is SO much I want to tell her. So much that I want her to hear from 'me'. But so far she's had a rather laissez-faire view of her history from China. And I realize that's 'on the surface' and not representative of what's in her heart. I know that. Before we met Cowgirl, she had been through stuff that most people will never experience in their lifetime. Thankfully. So ‘stuff’ will take a while to bubble up. And it will. On her own terms. And I will have to remind myself to 'get out of her way' and let her process this experience in the way that she knows best for herself.

So ... my 'head' says that we should just go and embrace every experience; every smell, every touch, every sight, every sound, every taste, every encounter, every connection.

And my 'heart' says ... 'prepare for a restive time'.

And it will be what it will be.

But that is a challenge for me. It's one thing to be organized with the tasks associated with a big journey like this. But it's another thing altogether to anticipate every possible emotional outcome from our experience. And I am a person who doesn't like to waste any life lessons. But this time ... I will be well out of my own comfort zone and 'going with the flow' will be less about being 'flexible' - and more about keeping my heart as open as possible - so that I can help Cowgirl cope with whatever her heart decides it’s time to deal with.

But the beauty of it all? We will be locked in the experience together. And I love the sound of that!

I won't be taking my laptop, so unfortuantely I won't be able to update this blog while in China. We will just be in too many remote places. But I will be keeping a journal (and Cowgirl wants to keep one for her classmates as well), and we will have an abundance of photos, stories, experiences and new wisdom to share when we return.

谢谢 xiè xie
多保重 duō bǎo zhòng

Thank you and take care!

E xxx

Talking About Adoption ...

2010-09-29T11:12:00.003+01:00

Forming a family through adoption is one of the greatest privileges I can imagine, and we are blessed in that the people in our lives are always thoughtful, compassionate and sensitive to the special circumstances that brought us together.

I do, though, get the occasional insensitive question from people who we only meet in passing - but I do appreciate that sometimes good intentions don't always get expressed the way they need to. I thought this blog post (link below) was really informative and a good reminder about how to ask questions of an adoptive family.

http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/how-much-did-your-kid-cost.html

Our family has maintained an ongoing willingness to talk about adoption in the right context and in the right conditions, though I can see that the dynamics continue to change for my daughter as she grows older and navigates her life with more ownership, and thus begins to grasp a deeper meaning about her history – her’story’.

xxx

Hope4China Guangxi Girls 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'

2010-09-06T10:07:00.008+01:00

Following on from my previous post about our amazing journey to China in October, I wanted to talk a bit about one of the initiatives we are planning, in case any of our friends or family might be interested in helping.

When we meet with the girls in Guangxi who are sponsored through Hope4China (and we are hoping to meet as many as 70 of the girls!), we know that they will need a bit of inspiration to engage and relax in the small groups we are organizing. So, we will host a “Teddy Bear’s Picnic” which is something we know the girls will enjoy. Our plan is to present each girl with their own Teddy (approximately 16 inches or, as a reference, a ‘build-a-bear’ size). Our wish is to include a set of teddy bear clothes and accessories with each bear so that the girls can each play along on the picnic and then keep them as their own treasures. (We are hoping that each of the girls' sponsors will donate a teddy bear for their sponsored girl.)

But we would like to be able to present the girls with a doll's outfit and accessories for their bears, as well. So, I was wondering if anyone had any spare or unused doll clothing or accessories amongst your children's playthings that they no longer want or need? If so, I would be ever so grateful if you would like to contribute it for the girls in China? The doll clothing and accessories should be about the right size to fit a bear about 12-16 inches in size and can include things such as dresses, tops, bottoms, shoes, hats, pinafores, skirts, trousers, coats, and any other accessories that would make playing a bit more fun.

If you can help, I would be SO grateful! It's best if you mail your contributions directly to me so that I can take them along to China (ideally I’d like to receive all contributions by the first week in October so I can organize them for my travels).

Let me know if you can help, and I will email you my address.

While a ‘Teddy Bear’s Picnic’ may seem an ordinary child’s event to us in the West, our Hope4China Guangxi girls will find this activity to be great fun, a novel idea, and a loving way to feel nurtured.

With much gratitude,
E xoxoxo

"A journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet" ...

2010-08-27T07:48:00.008+01:00

... so said Lau Tze in his wisdom as one of China's great philosophers.

For my husband and I, our greatest life journey began deep within our hearts when we adopted our daughter from China in 2006. And it has been our single, most spectacular blessing! As well as the joy that entered our lives when she became part of our family, we continue to be gifted with friends, opportunities and experiences that we might otherwise not have been fortunate to welcome to our lives.

Earlier this year we became associated with the Scottish charity, Hope4China and it has been one of those good fortunes that continues to bless our family. Hope4China is a charity dedicated to raising awareness of children in orphanages in China, and girls from poor home lives in rural areas, with little hope of a formal education.

(Read about Hope4China at their website: http://www.hope4china.info/ and find out what they are up to at their blog: http://hope4china.blogspot.com/)

We had been considering how we could support our daughter in staying connected to her birth culture, and sponsoring a beautiful young girl through Hope4China was our answer. As I learned more about Hope4China, I soon realized that my heart was wanting to be more involved in somehow making a difference in the lives of the girls associated with Hope4China.
So I have joined their team of incredibly talented, compassionate and devoted individuals who are sharing their life gifts in ways that fill my heart. (You can read a bit more about what this charity is up to by visiting their blog at the link above.) As much of my career has been nurtured in environments teaching and mentoring young people and adults, it seemed serendipity to now have this opportunity over the coming years to directly inspire some of the girls who are sponsored through this Charity.

In October, I will have the ultimate privilege of meeting some of these amazing girls and engaging in creative expression activities with them, which will be the beginning of what I hope is an ongoing pleasure to help these girls navigate their lives with a stronger sense of self-acceptance, to believe in themselves with a more robust sense of self-confidence, and to trust themselves to know how to navigate their world to bloom in the fullest way they can.

Years ago I read that, in our lifetime, each of us has the capacity to touch more than 10,000 lives. The kindness we offer, the compassion we share, the respect we show, the empathy we give to others, our willingness to teach what we know ... all of that has a way of multiplying through experiences over the generations.

Sharing of my time and the wisdom I’ve been blessed to accumulate over the years may feel like I am only reaching a small tiny percentage of China’s population. But the reality is that when we reach out to one soul, we prepare that soul to do the same for others, and thus our good intentions begin to spread. So it is my deepest hope that my compassion, along with that of the rest of Hope4China’s devoted team, will live on in the many ways that the young people we meet will pass on what they’ve learned from us – through their behaviours, through the compassion they show others, through the ways they teach their wisdom, through the empathy they offer, and especially --- through their strength of character and the belief that their futures can be brighter than they may have once imagined.

So, for two weeks at the end of October, Cowgirl and I will be in China. A blessing for us, but unfortunately daddy isn’t able to join us due to work commitments. We are travelling in very good company, though, with two of the most amazing women I've ever had the privilege to know ... along with their girls who, like Cowgirl, were also born in China. So we will all have the best of companionship on our journey.

We will spend our time in Guangxi province, which is very near to Cowgirl’s birth region. This particular visit is devoted to working with the girls at Hope4China, so we won’t be visiting Cowgirl’s specific hometown this time. That is something we want to do as a family, and our intention is to return again in a year or two so that we can take Cowgirl on a proper heritage visit to China. Though we are fortunate in that we will be in the general region of where her ethnic minority is settled, so in many ways, Cowgirl and I will most certainly experience the spirit of her birth region.

So, a lot has been brewing for our family in recent months and I am delighted that I can now share it all with you! If you are interested in knowing more about our adventure or would like to know how you can help Hope4China, please feel welcome to be in touch with me (follow the ‘email me’ link at the start of this blog on the left side at the top) Or, visit Hope4China and explore their story.

I’ll write a bit more about our adventure between now and when we depart, so come back and visit!

E xxx

Random Summer Fun

2010-08-01T14:41:00.005+01:00

We are having such a good time in our summer holidays! Up until the end of the school term I had been so unbelievably busy with my volunteer work and my commitments as school governor and on the PTA --- so now it feels SO good to have some very treasured time with Cowgirl when we can just have plenty of fun together, playing lots of games with our imaginations, creating artsy things with our art supplies, spending time chatting on long walks with the dog, going to the cinema for some genuinely good entertainment, enjoying playdates, exploring, dreaming up new adventures!

Since Cowgirl has a summer birthday (August) - the celebrations tend to get spread out over a long time, with her school party happening mid-July, then our family party yesterday, and one more celebration with an excuse for a reunion with Cowgirl's 'china sisters' next weekend. I love that she has a summer birthday, especially as we can have a very leisurely day when it falls on a weekday. And that's just what this Thursday will be --- Cowgirl will wake up to presents surrounding her on her bed, I'll make her favourite breakfast, and daddy will take the day off work so we can have a fantastic family day doing whatever she wants to do on the day.

Here are some random summer memories so far. But come back soon for some glimpses into Cowgirl's birthday celebrations and our favourite moments from the summer holidays!

Cowgirl and I take Bella (and sometimes Bella's doggy friends) to the seaside most days

so Bella and Cowgirl can have a swim. Cowgirl has collected so many 'treasures' from the seaside and she just loves the water. And I love how dogs are so protective ... both of them never strayed far from her side.

And then we often go in search of 'fairies' in the nearby woods. We found this door to a fairy's home and gently knocked, but the fairy was either not home, or sleeping. We decided not to disturb them!

Further long our travels, we caught a range of glimpses into Fairyland. And we even managed to capture this rarely seen image of a fairy's wing that was hung out on the fairy's line to dry! Cowgirl was amazed (she thought they used teeny tiny tumble dryers). ;o)

During the reunion of Cowgirl's 'china sisters' in early July (marking our 4th anniversary since becoming 'forever families'), we released a sky lantern which we had 'filled' with our wishes and heartfelt messages for our daughters' birth families back in China.

The lantern took off beautifully, making its way to China with hope and grace.

Carrying the sentiments in our hearts --- a long, long way.

E xxx

Nearly '5'!

2010-07-18T19:03:00.001+01:00

My Beautiful Girl is nearly 5!

E xxx

Summertime, And The Livin' Is Easy!

2010-07-10T21:47:00.009+01:00

Family Holiday - June 2010

Well ... judging by the gap between our last post and now ---

I'd say we've had a pretty busy time of things!

Sorry for the long absence from our blog ... been dithering about it for a while now,

but have decided to keep it up for a bit longer.

At least until I get some other, new pursuits under way!

Cowgirl after her School Assembly this term. They were little rainbow fish in the deep blue sea!

Cowgirl's First Sports Day!

It was such a lovely day. The weather was good and we all enjoyed family picnics afterwards. I have to admire her Reception Teacher. Have you ever tried to herd 30, 4-5 year-olds to 'focus' and coordinate a dozen or more different sports activities at the same time? Quite the heroic achievement!

Life with Cowgirl is as amazing and wonderful as ever ... and with our lives reshaping from the influence of life's rapidly approaching milestones, so have our priorities been a bit briskly shuffled around lately. And with my various roles volunteering in Annaliesa's school, particularly as school governor, attention to things like this family blog has had to take a graceful back seat.

More family 'firsts' - Bella finally swimming at the seaside! (Finally)

There are all good things in our lives ... and Cowgirl continues to absolutely thrive in our world, flourish in her school, and bloom beautifully in the garden of her life. There are days when she seems too grown up to still be a 4-year old. And there are days when she reminds me how lovely it is to live in a 4-year old's world.

Our lives have been so full and rich. Busy, yes, but fulfilling moreso. Since Easter, we have enjoyed two holidays. In May we spent a week in Devon on our annual holiday with Cowgirl's two 'China sisters' and their families. Our three families have grown so close over these past few years since returning from China with our girls. And our annual holiday is one of many occasions when we visit with each other throughout the year. The memories together are treasured and brilliant and heartwarming. And our three families being able to be together makes for invaluable 'therapy' when it comes to talking about our experiences bringing up our daughters from China. Priceless. And we know we are so blessed that our 'family' has extended in this way. And that is why we are all precious to each other.

In June, we enjoyed our annual family holiday in Dorset where Cowgirl was treated to undivided attention from her grandparents and auntie! Lots of time rock pooling, building sand castles, exploring countryside and Cowgirl putting on 'performances' for her small but devoted audience! She does allow the occasional side-kick to share center stage. But you always know that Cowgirl is the star!

Building Sand Castles in the Air!

The smile says it all!

Rock pooling in Dorset

This month, Cowgirl finishes her first year of school and she has done brilliantly! She just received an award (Golden Leaf) for being the child who always 'takes such good care of the other children'. Prideful moments. Her teacher said she'd give her the award every week of the year if she could. That is such a lovely bit of perspective to have about our child.

Next year she moves into Year 1 (1st grade) and she is SO, SO, SO excited about that. Her sheer enthusiasm for school certainly helps to quell any nostalgic feelings I have about how fast she is growing up. Seeing her so thoroughly soak up life only makes me feel more enthusiastic about the path she is taking in her life. And the decisions we have made on her behalf, so far.

In less than 2 weeks, school breaks for the summer, and the summer holidays begin. I am looking forward to a break from the routine of school, and from the sheer volume of responsibilities with the PTA and as school governor, and a member of our Parish Council.

And I am truly looking forward to spending some hazy, lazy days with Cowgirl, as well as plans to visit dear, lovely family friends in the UK over the summer. Before I know it, the start of the new school year will be beckoning on the 2nd September, so we plan to make the most of building wonderful memories of Cowgirl's first summer holidays from school. I have lots of mother/daughter things planned and it will be so nice to have a break from rigid schedules and routine!

We have so much more to share, but this catch up has been significant unto itself. So, that only means that I must commit to you that I will be back before long with more glimpses into our world, and more photos to share!

Thank you for patiently awaiting our return! xxx

It's Spring! And Her Soul Is In Bloom!

2010-04-27T11:46:00.007+01:00

Spring has returned.

The Earth is like a child that knows poems.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

With such a beautiful Spring in our midst, and with so many creative projects to tend to lately, I have been quite remiss at keeping our blog up to date, so apologies for that!

Cowgirl is growing up SO beautifully ... I have frequent moments when I look at her in such awe and my heart, in those instances, just swells with love and pride. And deep respect for my child.

Cowgirl is at that magical age between 4 and 5 ... still frequently a wee child, with a soul still so new on this earth. Still discovering SO much for the first time. Still needing her mama most minutes of the day.

And other times, balancing that wee child, I so often observe a stunning little girl - with beauty glowing from inside her spirit to match her outward radiance. And I am reminded in those moments that many hearts, indeed, will be broken (though not intentionally), by this gorgeous spirit who is my daughter.

Cowgirl is loved by so many and she is adored at her school by children in all years. And I suppose that shouldn't surprise me, really. Because if her nurturing spirit and continually growing circle of friends is any measure of her future relationships and quality of life ... then we can rest contented as her parents.

Despite the challenges that she had to face when she came to this life, Cowgirl's world, today, tells a very happy story. We are blessed, indeed.

E xxx

In Your Easter Bonnet ...

2010-04-05T21:50:00.008+01:00

... With all the frills upon it
You'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade

I'll be all in clover and when they look you over
I'll be the proudest fellow in the Easter parade

To the Park we'll go
Round Rotten Row

The photographers will snap us

And then you'll be seen

In the smart magazine

Oh, I could write a sonnet about your Easter bonnet
And of the girl I'm taking to the Easter parade !!

Well. Cowgirl and I both enjoyed making making her first Easter Bonnet! We decided what we wanted to put on it, and then gathered lots of different arts, crafts and deocrations that we had laying around the house - which is a fairly easy thing to do when you're as much into art and creating as I am!

She was a bit shy participating in the Easter Bonnet parade after church yesterday, but she took part and the foundation has been set for a lovely annual tradition. It was a wonderful experience, and I am looking forward to Cowgirl's enthusiasm in future years when she decides that she wants to decorate her own bonnet herself!

Blessings,

E xxx

Hope ... Promise ... Renewal

2010-04-03T21:38:00.003+01:00

Easter is, I believe, my favourite time of year ... the hope and promise of new life ... tolerance and mercy ... renewal of life against all odds.

The symbolism and the similarities between the passion and resurrection of Christ, and the resurrection of ‘life’ after a long, inward winter season – are endless. And now that we have a young child in the house, traditions continue to get dusted off, new traditions are designed and nurtured, and my daughter continues to collect memories for the ‘journal of life’ that grows in her heart.

When I was a teen, I often spent Passover with my best friend. I was brought up Christian and she was brought up Jewish. Our blend of religions, just like the seamless blend of our friendship, just seemed to work. At the Passover table I never ceased to marvel at the tradition and loveliness of the Passover meal and celebration. I was always particularly awestruck by the ‘ritual’ that held this family together. True to its history, celebrating Passover was entirely inclusive of my friend’s family, and any guests who happen to be blessed with a seat at the table. It was lovely. It was meaningful. It was ancient. And I am so grateful that I am able to hold on to those memories. Because the stories of Passover and Easter are so rich with history and meaning and ‘hope’ for the days ahead.

At this time of year, certainly in climates such as the UK, we are just beginning to rise from a long, dark, cold winter, both in reality, and metaphorically. It isn’t until the first whiffs of Spring flutter past our noses and gently tickle our senses that we realize just how much there is to look forward to – not just in Spring, but throughout the rest of the year. I suppose this awakening shares much with the mood and grief that people felt during those days leading up to Christ’s death. It is thought that, back in Christ’s time, the crucifixion was followed by a great tempest, the skies darkened, the winds howled, the heavens seemed to open. For some, it terrified them. For others, it was a ‘knowing’ sign.

So on this very rainy Easter weekend, while it would superficially be nice if we didn’t have to tread through mud, and if we could don our finest Spring clothes instead of our wellies and waterproofs and umbrellas ... our stormy weather seems to deepen the meaning of Easter in my heart. It certainly was a time of immense grieving when Christ was crucified. Imagine the tumultuous feelings that spread through the land. Even those in support of his death must have felt some sort of angst, if not the stress of having fought to get him killed. And perhaps the satisfaction of his death wasn’t as grand as they may have hoped. Revenge often seems to be over-rated.

And then there were those who had a deeper feeling in their hearts – perhaps a ‘knowing’. Even so, the injustice of a wrongful killing must have felt too much to bear at times.

This time of year my thoughts often turn to strife all around the globe. Perhaps it's the general 'awakening' that I experience with the arrival of Spring. My senses, all of them, heighten. Although Spring brings with it a true 'joy', I also tend to feel a deep grieving for people, places, things I don't even know. Perhaps those entangled in war zones. Perhaps those trapped in their own 'hell'. This time of year I tend to grieve for anything and everything that attempts to erode our spirits, over and over.

The Crucifixion of Christ may have happened thousands of years ago, but the depth of that moment in time lingers. Right here. Right now. And the story of Easter begins with such tragedy, yet it somehow manages to also hold such ‘hope’. Promise. Renewal. An assurance that amidst all the drama and the turmoil and the sadness and the grieving --- ‘hope’ springs eternal. And new life never fails to push through adversity. And embrace us.

So, tomorrow is the first Sunday that follows the full moon that followed the Spring Equinox on March 21.

It is Easter Sunday.

While the ‘Easter Bunny’ may seem an unlikely partner with the intensity of the crucifixion of Christ, the two are actually quite complementary, in my view. Rabbits are extremely lovely symbols of fertility and the ongoing quest to procreate. And nests are beautiful symbols of ‘home’ and ‘family’ and ‘the promise of new life’.

So, as we celebrate Easter, and celebrate the triumph of light over dark, we must also carry with us the message that although tomorrow holds great uncertainty, we must take a moment to be still in order to hear the exquisite songs that birds begin singing - before the storm has ended.
For they know with absolute certainty that clouds don’t banish the sun. They only form a temporary cover.

And then ... the JOY appears!

Happy Easter! xxx

Simple Fun

2010-03-19T12:19:00.004Z

Just a bit of fun on a day out with mummy. Cowgirl is loving school, loving life, and just a simply happy little girl. I so love her zest for everything - and her ability to not let anything stand in her way of learning. As adults, we have such unique opportunities to learn from our children.

Funny how we always assume that the 'learning' is the other way around! E xxx

It's the Year of the Tiger!

2010-02-12T11:27:00.007Z

Ancient Chinese Friendship Poem

If you were riding in a coach, and I were wearing a straw hat,

and one day we met in the road,

you would get down and bow.

If you were wearing a straw coat, and I were riding on a horse,

and one day we met in the road,

I would get down and bow for you.

I want to be your friend, forever and ever,

without break or decay.

When the hills are all flat, and the rivers are all dry;

when it lightens and thunders in winter;

when it rains and snows in summer;

when Heaven and Earth mingle ---

not till then will I part from you.

Our heartfelt wishes to all that every step you take in the New Year will lead you to good fortune, happiness and good health.

E xxx

Happy St. Brigid's Day!

2010-02-01T10:55:00.005Z

As I have Irish heritage, I am always fascinated by the history and cultural nuances of Ireland, particularly those that may hold special meaning for me in how I live my day-to-day life.

So ... Beannachtaí lá le Bríde dhuit! [The blessings of St. Brigid to you!]

Today (1st February) is St. Brigid's Day* in Ireland. As she is the patroness of cattle, dairy work, and ale, her day is also New Year's Day for Farmers and the first day of Spring or Imbolc, a pagan celebration associated with fertility and weather divination.

The word, Imbolc [the season of light] is Gaelic, the language of the Celts. There is a strong association between Imbolc and Brigid, a Celtic fertility goddess also associated with fire, healing, and holy wells. When the pagan holidays were transformed into Christian equivalents, February 1st became St. Brigid's Day in honor of the Irish saint (named after the Celtic goddess) who was a contemporary of Saint Patrick's.

Here are some of the ways St. Brigid's day can be celebrated:

1. Look for weather signs -- a hedgehog is a good weather sign, IF he stays out of his burrow. If the hedgehog sneaks back into his burrow, we could be looking at a longer stretch of winter ahead! [In the U.S., this day is celebrated as Groundhog Day on February 2nd.]

2. Do only essential work today and go to a local shrine (or your place of worship) to pray.

3. Take stock of the household supplies -- will it last till harvest?

4. Clean the house!

5. Make a special dish for dinner for St. Brigid's Eve, such as Boxty Cakes or Colcannon (see recipes below).

6. Make a large oat bread cake, a Strone Strohn, or Brigid's bread in the shape of a wheat sheaf or cross and invite the neighbours in (see recipe below).

7. Because St. Brigid traveled the countryside, with her white red-eared cow, blessing households, show her welcome by placing bread and fresh butter on the window sill outside; also put out a sheaf of corn for the cow, put out rushes for her to kneel on to bless the household, set the table in the kitchen on the eve.

8. Leave a silk ribbon out for St. Brigid to bless; it is used to cure illness.

9. Because Brigid is closely associated with the farm, ale, butter, and cows, be sure to serve a good hand-crafted ale in quantity and never, never, forget to bring a few stories of the saint to the table!

10. Make the cros Bride or bogha Bride (St. Brigid's Cross). Though a Christian symbol, St. Brigid's Cross possibly derives from the pagan sunwheel. It is usually made from rushes or, less often, straw. It comprises a woven square in the centre and four radials tied at the ends. Many rituals are associated with the making of the crosses. It is traditionally believed that a Brigid's Cross protects the house from fire and evil.

Interested in some recipes?

Boxty Cakes: Boxty cakes are special. They are rich! Do not make them too big. They do not keep well so make them right before you eat them. Put homemade butter on them when hot. Boxty cakes have special ties to women, marriage and fertility. They are even immortalized in music -- the tune, Boxty on the Griddle! This recipe celebrates the product of the farm -- the wonderful potato and, of course, butter as well.

Ingredients: 1/2 pound hot, cooked potatoes, 1/2 pound grated raw potatoes, 2 cups flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 1/2 cups buttermilk, butter for frying, salt and pepper.

Instructions:
1. Drain, peel and mash the hot potatoes (keep them hot).
2. Stir in the raw potatoes, flour and baking soda (do not over mix).
3. Add salt and pepper to taste.
4. Mix well with enough buttermilk to make a stiff batter.
5. Shape into 3 inch patties about 1/4 inch thick.
6. Fry on hot greased griddle until crispy and golden on both sides. Makes 12.

Colcannon (for 6): This recipe celebrates butter. When you had trouble extracting butter or had none, you could always call Brigid, and she would help. You must use real butter! You could make butter at home -- take heavy whipping cream and beat it quickly till the butter separates then strain the butter from the buttermilk pressing out the milk and refrigerate. A little salt can be added to taste. This is wonderful for the amazement of kids. Have them taste the cream when it is whipped.

Ingredients: 1 1/4 lbs. Kale or green Cabbage, 2 cups water, 1 tablespoon olive oil, 1 1/4 pounds peeled and quartered potatoes, 1 tablespoon chopped parsley, 1 cup cleaned and chopped leeks white part only, 1 cup milk, pinch of ground mace, salt and ground pepper to taste, 1/2 cup melted butter (use real butter)

Instructions:
1. Simmer kale or cabbage in 2 cups water and oil for 10 minutes, drain, and chop fine.
2. Boil potatoes and water, simmer till tender.
3. Simmer the leeks in milk for ten minutes till tender.
4.drain and puree the potatoes.
5. Add leeks and their milk and cooked kale.
6. Mix, add mace, salt and pepper.
7. Mound on a plate and pour on the melted butter. Garnish with parsley.

St. Brigid's Oaten Bread: You will feel the influence of the saint in this wonderful bread. Rich! Great with homemade butter as well. Make this loaf into a strohn or wheat sheaf. Form the dough into three equal balls and one ball about 1/3 the size of the others. Form each large ball into a rectangular strip -- do not over work. Place all three strips next to one another. Bend the tops and bottoms of the outer strips slightly outward. Using a knife make indentations vertically in each strip. Not too deep -- enough to convey the image of wheat. Take the remaining smaller ball and make a narrow strip which is as long as the middle of the sheaf. Place that horizontally across the center as the binding of the sheaf it should stick to the sheaf. You can wrap the ends slightly over the sides. Using a knife lightly cut a herringbone texture into the binding strip.
as in:
///////
\\\\\\
In this form, you can leave the bread out for the saint on the eve of February 1st.

Ingredients: 1 cup flour, 1 tablespoon sugar, 3/4 teaspoons baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1/4 teaspoon salt., 3 tablespoons butter in small pieces, 3/4 cup uncooked oatmeal flakes, 1 egg, 1/2 cup buttermilk

Instructions:
1. Heat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Grease baking sheet.
3. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt in bowl and mix.
4. Add butter bits and cut in with knife until mixture is crumbly.
5. Add oats and toss to combine.
6. In other bowl, beat egg with buttermilk.
7. Make a well in the dry ingredients. Pour in the egg mixture and mix with a fork until crumbs hold together. Make dough into ball and transfer to floured surface. Knead only till it holds together. . Add flour but only if too sticky to work I like to simply coat the loaf with flour so it does not stick to the hands.
8. Pat dough into 8-inch round and transfer to baking sheet.
9. Score a deep cross into the bread but do not cut it through 10.bake 15-20 minutes till brown. (this bread tends to be done when browning is light to medium brown)

*This information is adapted from the wealth of knowledge offered by Anam Cara Writer's and Artist's Retreat ( http://www.anamcararetreat.com/ ) and this website: http://mysite.verizon.net/cbladey/brigid/thesaint.html

Go Placidly ... Be Happy

2010-01-18T08:37:00.004Z

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

How Do YOU Spend Your Life?

2010-01-11T13:26:00.000Z

Years and years ago, I remember reading the poem 'The Dash' (words are below). Even though I wasn't yet in my 'prime', it had quite a profound affect on me. In the 90's it was passed around via email a lot and probably didn't always make the same impact in all the inboxes it landed in. It was likely one of those bits of prose that seemed the 'quote du jour' at the time. And even though I admired it back then, I always had a sense that it would grow in it's meaningfulness in my life.

So, I tucked it away.

And rediscovered it this weekend. (As I seem to be doing with a plethora of 'old wisdom' that I've tucked away and haven't paid much attention to in the past several years. But a 'tap' has been turned on somewhere in my soul, a switch flicked - and I am finding myself famished for the soul-filling focus that I once thrived on in my life.)

These many years later, the wisdom of this simple poem penetrates me even moreso, and in very different ways. Now that I am a mother, ever aware of how my child observes the way in which I choose to live my life on a daily basis, I am, at times, uncomfortably conscious of how my life is 'watched' by little eyes. Even though I told myself I would NOT fall into the trap of getting too consumed by the 'busyness' of being a parent --- here I am, taking a long, hard, philosophical look at how I (possibly) waste a lot of precious time. Because parenthood (temporarily? hmmm, I wonder...) has taken the best of who I am and what I've had to give. And this once highly energetic person (me!) has had to admit to being exhausted - much of the time. Not just because I am parenting a young child while in my 5th decade of life (though I've no doubt that contributes to things), but also because I am parenting a child who brought with her a very unique blueprint of her very special, compassionate, traumatic, early-life history. And that's just the way it is. And that's the gift that I am blessed to parent.

Admittedly, though, the way I 'envisioned' parenting actually unfolding (from those 'safe' distances 'before' actually becoming a parent), now often feels like I am trying to put together two jigsaw pieces that come from completely different parts of the puzzle. Getting the 'fit' right is something you can't fake. You shave a bit of an edge here, and a bit there, but ultimately unless the 'fit' is right, the puzzle just doesn't come together the way it's mean to do.

Like many parents I know, I've been trying to just 'do' too much - and I haven't always (not really) allowed myself to just 'be', to just 'live', to just 'enjoy' breathing in those precious moments with my family. As I grow more seasoned in my life, my perspective shifts. Sometimes new awarenesses pop out of nowhere. Sometimes familiar 'knowings' just surface with deeper meaning. At the moment, I am being barraged by old familiar wisdom - haunting me, almost - so maybe this is the right time to massage my vision of life and start incorporating more of what I always believed would make me a brilliant mother. wife. friend. mentor. healer.

Life is truly a journey. A series of chapters. Some are showered with opportunity. Some are peppered with challenge. Others are seasoned just right. And there are some chapters that seem to stand still in time. I am ready for my life journey to kick off again - for the adventure. For the growth. For the wisdom to ooze again.

So, with the start of a new year being so typically reflective and inspiring, this poem has come to mind again and I wanted to share it here. A familiar poem ... with age-old wisdom. Nothing new. And yet ... everything new. Here it is ... E xxx

The Dash Poem

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 Linda Ellis

Welcome to our Ice Palace!!

2010-01-09T22:19:00.003Z

We have the most beautiful ice sculptures forming around our house! It has been THAT cold here for the better part of the past week.

The icicles are really stunning to see, especially from inside the house where they frame our vista into the garden. And we are watching them grow longer and longer by the day! Some of them are a metre long already (3 feet).

I remember reading about a hotel in Scandanavia that's made of ice - we are getting a little glimpse into what that must be like!

With temperatures expected to continue on the freezing side, we don't see any hope of a thaw anytime soon. But when it does ... I expect flooding will be on a few minds!

Cowgirl's school is still hopeful that they'll be open on Monday but that will depend on whether or not we get the expected snowfall over the next few days. It's been quite the extended winter holiday!

E xxx

Improvisation!

2010-01-07T12:48:00.003Z

Today is a gorgeous, sunny, crisp, cold (very cold!), snowy day and we just HAD to get outside and take advantage of it all. And having been cooped up inside for the better part of yesterday, we all needed some movement and more fresh air, including Bella, who has missed her long morning walks in the countryside.

Our roads are still not in any condition for driving on with so much ice having built up underneath the new snowfall from last night, so we walked up to our local park where there are some perfectly small hills for Cowgirl to do some sledging. Unfortunately, we don't have a proper sledge (we've never had this much snow before!) but we improvised with one of my old kitchen trays, and one of Bella's spare leads. And it worked perfectly for Cowgirl.

We have no idea when schools will open again (for those of you in parts of the world such as Minnesota in the USA, you are probably really laughing silly right now at how things are standing still in the UK with only 12-18 inches of snow!). I'm hoping for a school re-start on Monday --- but there's more of the white flaky stuff predicted after the weekend, so we shall see.

(Below: A rather patient Cowgirl all ready for snowplay and waiting for mummy to take that photo!)

In the meantime, we're making the most of it all!

E xxx

Meet The Snow'flakes' (Mr., Mrs. & Child)!

2010-01-06T06:14:00.012Z

Snow! Glorious Snow! We are being caressed by a beautiful, cozy blanket of snowfall that has been descending upon us since last evening!

A Poem by Mummy & Cowgirl - January 2010

We eagerly watched with hopeful hearts as two little snowflakes appeared in the sky. They drifted down from the snowy heavens, and soon they both caught our curious eyes!

Taking their time, down, down, down they fell without making nary a sound.
Those two little snowflakes must hve invited their friends because soon ... there was snow all around!

This is the first time I can recall ever having this much snow down south here, and it is a welcome phenomenon! School has been closed for the day and Cowgirl was beside herself with excitement when she woke to such an abundance of good news!

There's not a sledge to be found in our house, unfortunately, because we've not needed it before today (we've historically only had a dusting or an inch or so for a day or two before it melts away and snowfall like this happens about every 10-20 years in the region of the south where we are in the UK)! But we're managing to improvise quite nicely and we're finding plenty to do with this gift from the heavens!

We hope that, wherever you are, you are tucked up warm and cosy, and safe and sound!

E xxx

The Feast of My Epiphany

2009-12-31T14:29:00.013Z

So here we are on the eve of the start of a brand new year. Tomorrow when we wake, it will be the 1st of January. 2010. A month named after the Roman god Janus. Such an appropriate personification of the start of the new year, for this particular Roman god had two faces; one so that he could look ahead toward the future – and another so that he could look back at the past. As we contemplate releasing 2009 and all that it carried to us, and as we anticipate looking forward to 2010 and all that it will bless us with, perhaps we may be a bit like Janus; honouring the parts of our past that serve us well, while making room for new horizons.

We know through our conscience and our experience the things that served us and others well, and the things that may wish to strive to do differently. (Perhaps more compassionately? More patiently? More lovingly?) Some people make ambitious new year’s resolutions; others take a deep breath and hope for the best. My intentions for this coming year are somewhere in between the two.

Mostly, I want to trust ‘faith’. And I suppose they are one in the same. But my humanness sometimes gets in the way of just ‘trusting’ – as Julian of Norwich is known to have said that ‘all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well’. This is my mantra for living this coming year. But I also know that I have to make considerable contributions towards that with my behaviours, my beliefs, my life values, my actions, my emotions, my intentions. My belief in myself.

Every day that I am blessed to walk on this earth, I know that my life is nothing short of an artful creation ... though each day more realistically seems like an untried recipe. Every morning is a new adventure as a mother, a friend, a counsellor, a wife, a teacher, a community supporter, and many other hats that are too numerous to list here. Each day, the recipe of life is measured with a bit of faith, a bit of luck, a bit of destiny, a bit of genuine effort, and a bit of adventure thrown in. And not necessarily in equal measures. Some days, the day’s recipe seems lacking in something. Other days seem a bit ‘overdone’. And then there are those days that are blessed to be recipe ‘perfection’. And I would like more of those.

So here we are. On the cusp of another new year. A gift of time. And my thoughts turn reflective. A lingering glimpse over the past twelve months. How well have I lived this blessing of the past twelve months? Have my days been free from bitterness? Rancour? Disappointment? Resentment? (You know --- the things that truly waste our precious moments) Hmmm. Well ... most of the time. Yes. But not always, not every moment.

Have I opened my heart and loved as much as I could have at every single opportunity these past twelve months? Well. No. If I’m honest. Because I can feel that I still have some love inside that I haven’t yet given away. It’s still fresh. And someone, somewhere, still needs it.
I long to live in the freedom of ‘using up’ my gifts and talents on a daily basis, rather than horde them for that day when I’ll need them most. Because the irony is that if I don’t use my talents up every day, then I won’t get re-filled up in the way that I know is possible. And necessary. If I’m to make my most complete contribution to the world in my lifetime.

Which is why I LOVE this time of year. Basking in the acknowledgement of what is no longer of service in my life (emotions, behaviours, relationships, beliefs ... and so on). Making room for sheltering more of the influences that I want to shape my life in the coming year. So I flick off the specks of pettiness and littleness so that I can see ... and my vision for this coming year seems ... a wee bit more clear.

Fresh. Clean. Pure. New. I love this time of year for this chance to reshape how I want to continue to ‘be’. To tweak the ‘vision’ through which I see my life and make my contribution back to others. This gift of a new year ahead ... it is like holding in my hands the very fragile yet robust gift of time. A precious ingredient in the recipe of life. Some days it feels too precious to ‘use’. But then I remember the candles I never wanted to burn because they were ‘too pretty’. They ultimately ended up melting in my storage bins, or fading in the sunlight in the glass china cupboard.

No. I don’t want that to happen to this new gift of time that comes my way at the stroke of midnight tonight. I don’t want to tuck away even one single minute – ‘just in case’. I want to use up every juicy morsel of time that I am blessed to acquire.

So, just as with the recipes that nourish our bodies, this great new year ahead isn’t made in one big batch. But rather, one day at a time. Oh, I will use every single moment in this coming year! Yes, that is for certain. Hopefully with better intention and better outcomes than the year I am waving good-bye to, today.

But I don’t want to spoil this great opportunity ahead of me with impatience, resentment, disappointment. Rather, I intend to enjoy the year ahead – one day at a time. For it is a time of reflection as well as celebration. A ‘parade’ of sorts to welcome in the unknown.

So, I have a recipe. The ingredients, you ask? Well, if I get the measurements right, then each day will be sometimes equal, sometimes varying, parts of hope, patience, joy, faith, belief, courage, resourcefulness, devotion, freedom, compassion, prayer and meditation (a LOT more prayer and meditation), self-care (LOTS of self-care) and an intentional focus, a ‘theme’ by which to live in this glorious new year ahead.

(Stay tuned. I will share my 2010 theme in one of my upcoming musings!)

Happy New Year to all of you. From near and far. Tothose of you in each of our three motherlands. To those of you who visit from lands I can only dream of seeing one day. To those of you I am blessed to know well on a daily basis, and those of you I am blessed to know through the marvels of technology.

And Thank You for your faithful friendships.

I’ll leave you with a beautiful new year blessing, Beannacht, written by John O’Donohue (from his beautiful book, Benedictus):

“On the day when the weight deadens on your shoulders and you stumble, may the clay dance to balance you.

And when your eyes freeze behind the grey window
and the ghost of loss gets into you, may a flock of colours, indigo, red, green and azure blue come to awaken in you a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays in the currach of thought, and a stain of ocean blackens beneath you, may there come across the waters a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours, may the clarity of light be yours, may the fluency of the ocean be yours, may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow wind work these words around you, an invisible cloak to mind your life.”

Blessings to you in this brand new year, 2010! May you find that it delivers unexpected happiness, surprising opportunity and more contentment than you have ever known before.

E xxx

2009-12-29T22:37:00.002Z

It wouldn't be Christmas in the UK without our annual visit to see a Christmas Pantomime!

We treated Cowgirl to a lovely family day out today to see the Panto, Aladdin, which was playing at our local theatre and it was GREAT fun, as Pantos always are! She saw Cinderella last year, which introduced her to the whimsy of this holiday tradition, so today she was in very good form and participated beautifully! Viewing Pantos takes some talent for tossing aside inhibitions and really 'getting into the act', so to speak!

Cowgirl was, at times, a bit puzzled by some of the artistic license that Pantos take to change the story line a bit and make it more, errr, interesting. And Cowgirl was also puzzled by Aladdin and the Princess Jasmine singing one of the High School Musical duets ... and Hi Ho, Hi Ho from Snow White ... and I think there was even a Lady Gaga song thrown in for good measure! But that's the great thing about Pantos ... they keep you on your toes!

It was a great afternoon out, and we sat with dozens of other families with children from her school, making it an extra special event.

For our overseas friends, you can read a bit more about the tradition of Pantomimes here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantomime

E xxx

And God Sent An Angel ...

2009-12-21T06:39:00.003Z

... Whose light brightened our world with great love, great joy, and great hope!

Cowgirl was so poorly with an awful chest infection recently, so she missed the whole last week of school. Poor poppet was so disappointed about missing out on the festivities at school, AND she missed playing her part in the school Nativity. But most importantly, the harrowing moments of those first days of her illness are now well and truly behind us, and her light glows brighter than it did before!

Cowgirl was SO delighted when she got to play the Angel in the Nativity at our Church Christmas party yesterday! It made up, in a grand way, for her disappointment at missing school. So this is one truly joyful Angel, and she had the time of her life. It was such a lovely, full day of community that began with our usual church mass in the morning, carried through to the most amazing Children's party we have ever experienced, completely sponsored by our church, and which lasted the whole afternoon and evening. Our day was topped off with a most wonderful visit with friends at their Christmas Open House.

We are so blessed to have settled into our church community. It has been the sense of 'belonging' that we were seeking for a while. We live in a lovely village, but we don't have a traditional 'village square' which generally functions as a point for uniting people in one way or another, so feeling a part of the community has always felt a bit fragmented. But no longer! When Cowgirl started school in September at our local Catholic Primary School ... all of our lives changed and stretched and blossomed in so many ways. Having this 'old fashioned' sense of our lives being centered around our faith has made such a difference to our family ... even though we have always been blessed with abundant friendship and connections.

This last photo is my favourite of the three ... not posed ... just Cowgirl in her natural state of spirit ... a blend of sweetness, thoughtfulness and purity of heart.

With our hearts spread wide across the globe to friends and family in so many different countries, from so many different cultures ... our wish this Season is that peace and contentment hover over you all through the coming year. We remember you will full hearts and we give thanks for the blessing that your presence holds in our lives - whatever form that takes, you are held in our hearts with steadfast gratitude!

Blessings this Holiday Season!

E xxx

Star with Royal Beauty Bright ...

2009-12-10T16:43:00.004Z

Know you what it is to be a child?

It is to have a spirit yet streaming from the waters of baptism;

it is to believe in love, to believe in loveliness, to believe in belief;

it is to be so little that the elves can reach to whisper in your ear;

it is to turn pumpkins into coaches and mice into horses,

lowness into loftiness, and nothing into everything,

for each child has its fairy godmother in it's own soul.

Francis Thompson

We Three Queens?

2009-12-03T13:18:00.008Z

Oh! And the magnificent gifts that they bring to us!

Here is a joyful photo of three of life's greatest joys - Cowgirl with her dear friends, Aila and Amy! We all enjoyed the most splendid Thanksgiving with our very dear friends up in Norfolk this past weekend. It was a 'thanksgiving' in the truest sense of the word --- a time of love, friendship, community, support - contentment.

And Belonging! Oh, how our hearts open when we are in the company of true soul friends! Our girls are forming deep friendships, just as we are forming deep friendships with their parents.

In the photo below, just soak up the awesome beauty of these three spirits having yet another 'time of their lives'!

Forming our families through adoption is miracle enough on its own. But the presence of our daughter in our lives keeps 'GIFTing' us with eternal blessings. Through her, we have connected with such lovely friendships with other adoptive families. And we are amazingly blessed to have widened our 'extended family' - soul friends meant to be in our lives in deep and loving ways.

Our girls are all the same age (4), and it is deeply moving to witness the bond they are forming - a bond that will carry them through their lives. And our 'grown up' lives are also enriched with these connections that keep growing, keep giving, keep deepening -- it is as if we, the parents, also have the privilege to form the same deep bonds and the same deep joyful friendships that glow in the lives of our precious girls. And there isn't much in life that is better than that!

If I could sit at the feet of God right now, there are SO many things for which I'd want to humbly say 'thank you' - and the greatest of my gratitude shows up in the spirit of this gorgeous little face, below!

And here is Cowgirl with her friend, Amy, in one of many moments of joy, contentment, friendship.

Three Beauties. Three Joys. Three Soul-Friends. Three Queens. Bearing three 'GIFTS' given to us by God. The gifts of LOVE, HOPE and JOY. Nowhere on the face of this universe would we find greater, precious gems.

These 'three queens' - are ONE of many miracles of this magnificent Season!

God Bless! E xxx

Star of My Thankful Heart!

2009-11-24T20:00:00.006Z

Cowgirl was chosen to be 'Star of the Day' for her Reception class yesterday! Her teacher told her she was a 'sensible girl'!

She was SO, SO excited. She was given a special Teddy Bear named 'Alfred' to take home overnight, and she had to show Alfred how to eat healthy foods, and do plenty of healthy exercise. It's a really lovely influence on the children.

So ... Alfred and Cowgirl shared a snack of carrots (one of Cowgirl's favourites ... she absolutely loves raw vegetables). And they played frisbee (how, exactly, I'm not sure - Daddy was in charge of that activity!). Then after tea, Cowgirl and Alfred did starjumps (jumping jacks) before they got ready to snuggle up for bed.

(Hah! Hah! You can still see one of our Halloween pumpkins peering into the house from the outside table in the above photo! He's about to be turned into a delicious steaming pot of winter harvest pumpkin soup!)

Cowgirl was so patient and clever while I helped her to write in the special notebook about Alfred's time with us - she's only just learning to write her letters so it was a BIG effort for her. Bless her for persevering and letting me help her, it took ages but I think it was good practice!

It is so extraordinary to watch how this barely 4-year old already has such potential, and immense desire, for writing. Sheets of paper absolutely fill our home with letters and numbers that she writes, constantly, every waking moment it seems, on every bit of paper she can find! It looks like someone is trying decipher a code with all the notes that we find everywhere! It is really fascinating to see such enthusiasm and I adore her joy and eagerness - consistent traits in the life of my lovely, happy little girl!

So, in this season of thankfulness, it's pretty obvious what I am most grateful for! We are blessed beyond words to be Cowgirl's parents!

E xxx

It's Never Too Late To Have a Happy Childhood!

2009-11-12T05:46:00.004Z

Cowgirl came home from school last week with this 'masterpiece' that she made during her arts & crafts morning!

Apparently ... this 'work of art' is ... ME!

When I asked her about it, she said she chose this particular box because it had a big 'smile' (the bowl). Warmed my heart! The red milk bottle tops are my 'eyes'. The blue milk bottle tops on the sides are my 'ears'. And the string is my 'hair'.

... And all of this really got me thinking.

About being a child.

About being still so 'new' on this earth that absolutely everything can so easily be translated with the most economical amount of imagination.

About being so excited by life itself, that everything you see explodes with imagination and creative perspective.

About being so 'wise' that upsets are quickly forgotten and in their place ... only joy.

About how you are not yet jaded by disappointments, frustrations, resentments - and how the most meaningful influences in your life are love, joy, adventure and soaking up new knowledge like a sponge.

And then today ... I came across this statement:

It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood!

KerPOW! That's the sound of a concept ... 'sinking in'.

One of the very obvious aspects of parenthood - for me - is the way in which I get to 'redo' my own childhood. To 'right the wrongs', if you will. To feel automatic 'permission' to see the world through joyful eyes. To make mistakes and not be worried by (or even better, to not even consider) the implications. To know - really, really, know - that even when I'm cross, Cowgirl feels, without question, that I still love her deeply, completely, with unlimited potential.

We spend a LOT of time as adults holding onto experiences from our past. And many of those experiences no longer have a useful place in our life, but we somehow still manage to give them enough power so that they still shape our thinking, our actions, our moods, and create some of our 'limitations'.

Cowgirl will likely never know just how 'healing' her presence in my life really is ... how truly successful she is at bringing a 'happy childhood' to my life even at my quite seasoned age. It's like living with my own pint-sized Guru!

The secret to life?

Knowing what it is to be a child.

E xxx

The Great Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-28T08:43:00.005Z

Yesterday was a splendid Autumn day here, bright sunshine, warm breezes ... so after two weeks of cabin fever being isolated at home with flu, we all went on a short excursion to the pumpkin patch.

For over 30 years, this local pumpkin patch has been growing and selling an impressive range of pumpkins, gourds and squashes. It's not just a pumpkin choosing experience ... it's a visual treat because every year they create a new artistic display of their produce. This lovely spot was introduced to me years ago by a dear friend, Sandra (who has since passed away this summer), so it felt a bit strange coming here without her this year. But she left us with this lovely Autumn tradition, so for years I have been getting my pumpkins and squash and gourds here for my Autumn pies, roasts, muffins, etc. --- and for years I shall continue.

And then Cowgirl joined our family three years ago, and we began the tradition of visiting the pumpkin patch every Autumn, and taking a photo of her piled high on big, plump, traditional pumpkins.

So, here are some of our memories from this year's addition to our tradition. Enjoy!

NO Scary Pumpkins Here! Just the Sweet Variety!

2009-10-24T18:13:00.004+01:00

While we are all waiting to get well again ... here's a little stroll down memory lane!

When Cowgirl came 'home' in 2006, one of the (many) traditions we began so we could capture fond memories for her of her childhood, is to visit our favourite pumpkin patch! These photos below reflect our visits in 2006, 2007 and 2008. We are hoping that later this week we'll all be well enough to have a little outing to our favourite pumpkin patch so that we can add our 2009 memories!

Enjoy! xxx

Well ... I Suppose Sooner Rather Than Later ... is Better?

2009-10-24T11:03:00.003+01:00

Sorry we haven't had any photos recently ... makes checking our blog a bit less interesting, I imagine!

So ... what's happening here, then? Not much except the H1N1 flu! We've all been hit quite hard the past week so it's been rather quiet and boring around here. Cowgirl came home from school complaining of a really bad headache on the 15th, and that was the start of it for her. She had 5 days of fever, on and off, and all the usual accompanying stuff, though her symptoms didn't seem quite the same as ours, so at first we weren't sure what she had. It wasn't until I came down with it on the 19th that my suspicions elevated. By Wednesday, it was diagnosed! Then daddy came down with it on Thursday ... so we are playing tag team parenting at the moment!

We've been living like one of those isolated communities here in our 'nest'! No visitors! No leaving the compound! hah! hah! Partly because we want to be super responsible and not do anything to have a role in spreading this to anyone else. That's the problem with things like flu, especially this one. And parents are sending children back to school way too soon. People are going back to work way too soon. So no one stands a chance, really. Evidently this particular virus has a longer recovery time than once thought. And a longer contagious period than once assumed. So one can't be too careful.

In a quiet sort of way, I am content that we have this now, sooner rather than later. Hoping we are building a natural immunity to it, which in the long run, I think is better. There has been so much speculation and opinion and argument about this virus. So now, I no longer have to passionately discuss my case for not getting the vaccine!! hah! hah! (And hopefully this won't be a case of 'famous last words'...)

Evidently there are scores of children and staff out at Cowgirl's school, so ... H1N1 has well and truly arrived. It's half term this coming week, so we do have another week to recover and not do much of anything. Though I hope that we feel well enough to at least get some fresh air next week sometime. That could do us a world of good. We opened up all the windows upstairs this morning and the fresh air felt like bliss! Cleaned as much as we could (with our very limited combined energy) with antibacterial cleaner. Sprayed all around the house with tea tree oil in a water bottle (the cat wasn't all too pleased - the dog just thought it was another cool smell to investigate).

And now I just want to sleep.

So the next time I write, I intend to do so in a more chipper mood, with the photos to match!

E xxx

So ... just WHO is the adult here ... anyway???

2009-10-19T05:45:00.016+01:00

With three years parenting experience behind me now, I still feel like a novice. Often. And I suppose that's the way it is with parenting ... sometimes it's one step forward, three giant steps backwards. Other times it's clear sailing and for ages, you don't see the storm brewing on the other side of the horizon for all the joy that's in the current moment. And still, at other times, I get 'confused' about just who the 'adult' really is in this 'mother/daughter dance' we've got going on.

And then there are the times when I get gobsmacked by the 'bigness' of my little girl's soul and spirit. The magnitude of her personality and the wisdom of her very young life. I have to consciously remind myself, often, that Cowgirl is only 'just' 4 years old. Because much of the time, I feel like I am living with someone who is a shrunken form of a wise old sage (and it often feels that she is a character in the movie 'Honey, I Shrunk The Kids' --- that she's really a well seasoned adult who's just been shrunken down into a pint-sized package).

Before we adopted Cowgirl, we thought we were quite well informed about what to expect from children who had been in care, children who had traumatic starts to their life. Children who had less-than-desirable care in at least their first year of life, children who hadn't been held often and cuddled quite enough - in fact, hardly touched at all. Children who had to psychologically grow up --- Way. Too. Fast. Children who, as a result, take on a very mature role very, very early in their lives.

And that makes parenting, at least for me, a teensy bit (edited to read 'a tremendous bit') trickier! Because besides all the usual parenting stuff that comes with the job ... I have to also work hard, at times, converting my daughter into a ... child! Teaching her that it's okay to NOT have all the solutions in life. Reminding her regularly that she is not responsible for everyone else around her. Assuring her regularly that it's MY job to be the parent. Basically, helping her to relearn 'how to be a child'. Which catches you by surprise even when you thought you'd educated yourself sufficiently. But all this is easier said than done when your child learned, just months into her life, that she couldn't really rely on the adults around her to look after her needs sufficiently. She had to 'take control' - herself. The proverbial 'I'LL DO IT MYSELF' syndrome.

And this is a concept that takes a long time to really 'get'. At first, during the pre-parenting stage, we 'intellectualize' things like this, storing them away in our minds for possible later recall. 'Our child probably won't be like that. We'll give her all the love and nurturing possible. It'll be different for her'.

And then year after year goes by and you realize how much of a child's behaviours are formed -- practically cemented -- into their little hearts, souls and minds -- in those first months of life. So whatever happens at that early stage, tends to set the course for how a child navigates and sails through life.

So parenting, for me, has often been about 'deprogramming' my daughter, and slowly --- VERY slowly --- downloading into her psyche the first edition of 'how to be a child'. With Chapter One being the introduction to having a more secure take on life.

When I imagined being a mother, I also imagined what my child might be like. I think that's typical and just about everyone I know does the same thing. So there was me ... all those years ago ... imagining a little soul who would be dependent on me, who would learn from me, who would laugh at my attempts of humour, who would be in awe of my every move in life. Basically, I imagined a little person who would arrive in the world, and who would need 'filling' up by me, as her parent. Filling up with love, filling up with knowledge, filling up with experiences, filling up with the joy life can bring.

What I didn't imagine was mothering a little soul who, at times (at MANY times), seems to be the reincarnation of Boudicca, Nefertiti, Joan of Arc, Indira Ghandi, Catherine the Great, ... oh, and of course ... Mulan ... (and maybe even a little bit of Marie Antoinette, guillatine and all) -- all rolled up into one bright and bouncy Little Dictator.

Ooops. I meant to write ... 'one bright and bouncy Little Darling'. (There. That sounds much better.)

Apart from the usual bossiness, and making her ladyship's opinions VERY clear to me on a regular basis, and telling me under no uncertain terms about what she LIKES and DISLIKES, reminding me on a minute-to-minute basis that I am a lowly 'slave', and ... well, ... basically making me feel lucky that she is even employing me in this job called 'mother' ... (given the economy and all) well, apart from all that, things are pretty much like I expected them to be.

(polite clearing of the throat)

So even this week, while Cowgirl endures a rather nasty virus with rather alarming fevers at times ... my barely 4-year old is informing me when to take her temperature and educating me on how serious the result is, telling me which particular medicine she wants at any given time, reminding me regularly that she has a 'bad cough' (with the implication in her voice that suggests, not so subtly, 'so what are YOU going to do about it?), advising me when I need to phone school to say she won't be there, placing her order for special 'but I'm sick' meals well ahead of time, and ... well ... you probably have the idea by now.

Can't wait until she learns how to snap her fingers.

E xxx
(Just to clarify, I'm the one who's the 'parent')

Smarty Pants

2009-10-04T21:38:00.003+01:00

Getting lovelier ... more clever ... happier ... funnier ... more thoughtful ... and more loving by the day!

I didn't think that was possible - she always seems 'perfect as she is' to me!

Fetch!

2009-10-03T16:15:00.003+01:00

... Anyone???

One by one ... our Bella is clearing the woods!

At least she's gradually grasped the concept of carrying them in the middle.

Well ... most of the time.

Once Upon A Time ...

2009-09-28T14:42:00.005+01:00

... there were three gorgeous, clever, creative, loving,

beautiful, adventurous, fun-seeking 4-year old Princesses!

They were very active, very brave, very wise, and very spirited Princesses.

Indeed, everyone who met them came under their very special and magical spell. They were loved by everyone in their Kingdom and their lovely spirits brought a deep sense of love, adoring pride, and heartfelt contentment to their parents, their friends and all of their families.

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Photo: The 'A' Princesses! Cowgirl and two of her lovely friends who we visited up north this weekend. All three girls have names beginning with 'A' - one of many wonderful things they have in common. They have an amazing friendship and it warmed all of our hearts to watch them at play and just being content and happy to be with each other. We are so blessed by the people in our lives!

Tiny Dancer!

2009-09-20T16:27:00.005+01:00

Awww!

Cowgirl just started a modern dance class (suits her energy a bit better than ballet at the moment!). This is the first time she's done a dancing class and she is really enjoying it. I've been impressed by how well she is focussing on and listening to her dance teacher!

Today, modern dance. Tomorrow? (I hear tap shoes on the horizon!).

A tiny dancer with a grande spirit! xxx

Reflections on a Memorable Week

2009-09-13T15:34:00.004+01:00

There has GOT to be nothing like the courage of a child eager to grow up and taste the world!

Here, Cowgirl has a play of hopscotch in the playground on the first morning of school. Though she was nervous, she was steadfast in her courage. It was amazing and wonderful to see how brave she was amongst all the 'newness' - new school, new children, new teacher, new schedule. Children are very brave little souls and Cowgirl proved that last week.

She has received so many lovely cards with such thoughtful wishes about her big transition to big school. It is heartwarming to know that so many people in our lives share our joy during such a significant milestone for our family. We shall have fantastic memories of this time, indeed!

Most of us learn, eventually, that 'one day at a time' is the best way to travel through life. It's the best any of us can do to move forward towards contentment. And a fulfilled life. And having such a treasured child in my life has 'slowed me down' in all the right places so that I enjoy the journey much more. I SO want to remember this time with Cowgirl - not just remember it in my mind, but also remember it in my cells, my body, my soul. So, I am at a place in life where I want to slow down the pace so that I can savour every moment with Cowgirl. And SHE is in a place where she wants to rev up her engines to zip around the course as quickly and proficiently as she can! Hah! Hah! I expect we'll always be in seemingly 'different places' in life, but we'll manage to weave our stories together somehow.

It was SUCH a BIG day for my girl last week. In fact, all five days were BIG. And I am in awe of how courageously she is navigating such a significant life experience. I expect we'll have the occasional 'wobble' about going to school. But at least on Wednesday and Fridays I can inspire her with the idea of 'PE' which she absolutely loves!

As I think about Cowgirl's courage that I write about here, I am humbled to realize that there is something poignant in the painful reality that children with rather traumatic starts in life, like Cowgirl, have no choice, really, but to learn strength and courage at such an early age. The other side to that, as I am witnessing at curious speed these days, is that the same strength and courage that was borne from necessity and less than fortunate circumstnaces ... are, in fact, invaluable traits that will no doubt serve Cowgirl well in her life. So, bittersweet as it may seem at times, she has acquired some mighty wonderful skills for negotating life.

Cowgirl running off some 'steam' after a long morning at her first day of school last week.

Opening her special 'first day of school' present. We gave her a Pixel Chix toy and she absolutely loves it! One of her older friends has one and she was completely absorbed figuring out how it worked. Cowgirl has a really analytical and curious mind and it will be very intriguing to see the choices she makes about her vocation in years to come.

And one of my favourites from the week ... Cowgirl and mummy enjoying an 'after-the-first-day-of-school-cuddle'!

I am feeling quite content about this new milestone. We have both, Cowgirl and I, found our own ways to face huge change this week. I am so proud of Cowgirl. And I am so proud of myself. And I am excited for us both!

Onward for us both.

Upward for us both.

Forward for us both.

But ALWAYS nestled in each other's hearts.

E xxx

Indian Summer!!!

2009-09-11T21:43:00.010+01:00

We have had a glorious week of weather - sunny, warm, bright, lovely.

a

It's been a BIG big week for cowgirl and for us! Her first week of big school has gone beautifully! The 1st and 2nd days, she was nervous, but didn't fuss at all about going into the classroom. By Wednesday, she was grabbing her school bag and lunch bag from me the instant the bell rang, doing a marathon up the stairs into the classroom! Too funny! I think she's settled! I had to actually call her back the other day just to say 'good-bye'!

She already has a boyfriend, who she's been hanging out with every day in class. And a new big school best friend, who she plays with every playtime. The two have become fast buddies. Hope it lasts until half-term at least! Hah! Hah!

Cowgirl was just at school in the mornings this week, so in the afternoons we enjoyed the sun, the Crazy Dazy sprinkler, a bit of fun in the garden, playdates catching up with friends. Not one to be left out, Bella joined in the fun quite readily!

Next week Cowgirl is at school just in the afternoons, so we'll have a slight change. But all signs indicate that she is ready, ready, ready for this new big adventure.

And already we, 'The Parents', have been replaced as the authorities in her life! (We knew this was coming swiftly, so we've been prepared - though we DID think it might take a few weeks longer!) Every day we are corrected about something that 'Mrs. C.' apparently does differently! We were even told last night that when we sit on the floor on our knees, we've been doing it wrong, evidently. She showed us the 'correct' way. You see, Mrs. C. has shown the children how to sit properly on their knees so that they don't hurt their knees in the future! (Good advice - a bit late for us, but a good start for children)

And I was corrected this evening doing our bedtime prayers. This running commentary of 'critique' about our 'ways' is going to get old quickly! Hah! Hah! But we are delighting in it for now, because it means our Cowgirl has settled so bravely and so beautifully into one of life's most daunting new adventures.

So, today's update is just about some 'fun' photos!

So. Um. How do you get this thing started?

Bella and Cowgirl playing a combo game of 'tug' and 'swing'. Cowgirl likes using Bella as an anchor, and Bella likes using Cowgirl's rope as a tug toy.

The VERY best of friends!

Oh. So. Cute!

2009-09-05T23:01:00.008+01:00

Look at my darling Cowgirl in some of her school uniform!

Her favourite so far is her PE kit! No surprise there, then!

We had a little 'show off' session this evening while we had friends around.

Cowgirl loves modelling her new fashions - a good sign for Monday!

More to come! For now, I'm just happy that she had 'fun' showing off her new uniform and shoes!

Look, Mum! Lots of sleeve!

(Who designs these things anyway? Does the average 4-year old really have arms that are 3 feet long???)

School Daze

2009-09-04T23:31:00.000+01:00

Sending my only child off to school for the very first time ... still feels a bit surreal. As if I'm only reading about it in someone else's life. And I'm aware that many of you reading this are likely parents who have 'been there, done that again and again' - or, like me, you are gasping at straws over the misbelief that it can't possibly be time for - THIS! Nursery two mornings a week was one thing. But THIS! My child really and truly going off to school? Proper school? And in just three days?

So my mind has one question that is running on a continuous loop all day long. Have I done all (enough) of the right things to prepare Cowgirl for 'big school'?

I wish I held the 'short form' answer which is - Yes. I'm sure I have.

But the reality is that I linger with the 'long form' answer which is - Hmmm. I'm not sure. Maybe? I don't really know.

I absolutely know that people are well meaning, well intentioned, when they want to assure me that 'she'll be just fine'. It's the most frequent comment I hear. And that she'll be 'fine' is possible. Most likely, really. Probably. It's just that ... I suppose if my daughter hadn't had such a traumatic start in life, then I wouldn't really be worrying AS MUCH about her going off on such a big adventure. I'm sure I'd still be fussing - all parents do - but I'm also sure I wouldn't be worrying about 'deep seated' things. Or, at least I'm guessing I wouldn't be so focussed on these things.

An easy assumption to make is that I am wrapping my daughter in cotton wool. But, no. A BIG reason that my inner harmony feels a bit rocky at the moment is that when you wait such a large part of your adult life to finally be blessed with a child, you tend not to take so much for granted about being a parent. And you're especially not in a hurry to 'send them off into the world'. And it goes without saying that you are not eager to push them out of your nest. Even if they are ready. Or 'seem' ready. Or 'need' to be ready.

Cowgirl, for all of her high spiritedness, innate goodness and joie de vivre, suffers her fair share of 'separation' stress. And as I write this I hear the echo of 'Oh, all children have separation stuff'. And that's likely true. But not all children have had such a rocky start in life, so ... I sort of have to keep that in mind when there's that temptation to assume Cowgirl's feelings should be labelled as 'normal'. One of the (many) reasons we are here, as her parents, is to guide her through this map of life, to walk with her as she negotiates the peaks and valleys. To make it 'okay' that she evolves through the days in the way 'she' needs to, rather than how we, or others, may think she should. But it does make for a tricky anticipation of the 'first day of school'.

And while we politely listen to how 'she'll be fine', we know that we can't do sloppy parenting about this and we must always err on the side of reassuring her that 'change', 'separation' and anything 'unsettling' to her will be taken seriously by mummy and daddy. Even if it's not taken seriously by the rest of her world. She counts on us to do that for her. Even if she can't yet articulate that need.

So, why am I writing all of this?

Because I take her life, and her background serious enough that I am adamant she learns NOT to be a victim, but also that she always, always feels assured that she has two of life's best advocates on her side - mummy and daddy. And that we will always be on her side, in her court, on her team. Regardless. Of what anyone else thinks. Or wants us to think. Or do. Or believe. Or however anyone 'on the outside' wants to judge whether we are overreacting or underreacting to things. Anyone who didn't have this support as a child, will know exactly how important this type of parental attentiveness is.

And this is where I need lots of practice. We are bringing up our daughter in a lovely world where we are surrounded by support and understanding in our 'hand designed' network of friends and family. But it's also a world that makes lots of assumptions. Assumptions about 'who we might be' by 'how we look' on the outside. And assumptions about how we should 'feel' on the inside. And we don't have a 'stiff upper lip' philosophy in our family (well, we do, sort of, but that's reserved for when knees get mildly scraped and it's probably not appropriate in that particular moment to act like it's an audition for a part in an episode of ER) so we aren't always of the 'just snap out of it' school of parenting. (Sometimes, but not always.)

Forming your family through adoption certainly isn't for the faint hearted. And we certainly knew that from the start. But it IS extremely rewarding. Though sometimes the 'reward' comes after enduring layer upon layer of wondering ... and sometimes navigating obstacles that you've never navigated before - and that most of your 'parent friends' can't really help you with. And often coming up against brick walls. But, ultimately, it's reaching that place of 'understanding' your child in a way that you know with absolute certainty NO ONE else will be able to understand her.

To use an uncommon example (and some of you may have to stretch your imagination here but you'll get the point), it's a bit like savouring your first artichoke! You've been 'told' that the 'best' part is at the core, at the heart of a painstakingly slow process of picking each leaf off one by one. The first one tastes okay, maybe. The next one tastes a teensy bit better. The one after that is interesting enough to keep you going. And so on until you realize that if you persevere, the outcome is more rewarding than if you stopped too soon. You realize that you might have made a judgement about the experience before you knew enough to be sure. So you trudge along and 'trust' that those who have 'been there' really do know what they were talking about. That the destination is sometimes lovelier than parts of the journey. And ... sometimes ... you just have to go on intuition.

So. We've done a LOT to prepare Cowgirl (and hopefully, us as well) for school. I've taken her to visit her new school twice. The first visit unfortunately resulted in her 'panic attack' and not the experience we hoped for. But the second visit (at mummy's request) was brilliant and Cowgirl had a wonderful time being escorted by a buzz of Reception Year girls.

We've got her uniforms, she's tried them on, they've been washed, tags put in. And we play 'dress-up' occasionally so she gets comfortable with the uniform being a 'special, good thing'. (Though even the smallest size make her look a bit like she's dressing up in mummy's clothing! We'll be cutting out the size labels in her clothing in years to come! I'm expecting that she'll not be thrilled with clothes labelled a size 5 when she's in Year 3 or 4!)

She LOVES her new lunchbox & water bottle - she loves that her name is printed on them! And she loves that she has something 'new' to bring to school.

She and I bought her first pair of school shoes together - and though she would have been happier with trainers (she's a tom-girl, afterall!) she's rather chuffed with the choice we made.

I made a 5x7 inch size of a family photo collage and laminated it - my thought is to put it into her lunchbox on her first day (just to give her some comfort while she's away from mummy if she needs it). Don't know if this is a good idea, or if it will backfire (e.g. will it trigger her separation stuff).

Together, she and I made cards for Cowgirl's new teacher and some of the teaching assistants (just to say 'thank you' ahead of time!) This was cowgirl's idea so today she did some painting and we used that art to make the cards.

Unfortunately, Cowgirl won't know any of her classmates well. There are a couple of boys in her class who went to her nursery, but on different days so they've only seen each other on a few occasions. Still, she has told me today that she is going to make 22 new friends at school! Knowing Cowgirl's vivacious personality, I think she's being conservative in her estimate!

We bought a new GLTC school year calendar, which is hung and already in use (as it begins with August). Cowgirl loves calendars ever since we gave her her own magnetic one in the New Year.

We frequently read her 'Going to School' books to gear up! (especially 'The Kissing Hand' - Cowgirl LOVES that concept and we kiss each other's hand often for practice!) Fingers crossed it'll work on the day.

Cowgirl will have a little present waiting for her when we collect her after her first morning of school on Monday - a Hello Kitty School Playset. She's really into little play sets these days. I'm hoping that the intrigue of having a present to open will ease any worries as she sets off into the classroom.

I've made a 'First Day of School' Sweet Jar and for the 3 weeks before school, Cowgirl gets to take a sweet out of it every day. It's meant to help her 'count down' the days to the start of school, so she acquires a sense of 'time'. Seems to be working. It's the first thing she wants to do in the morning after taking her vitamins. And she's not got a big sweet tooth - I think she really likes the idea of knowing how long before school begins.

And for me? I've arranged to meet friends right after dropping Cowgirl off on Monday. I'll need the distraction! And that new mixture of flower remedies will come in very nicely! As well as that new bottle of Rescue Remedy! I expect I'll be mainlining those during the first days of school!

So ... now you probably have one of three impressions. 1) I am right on track with preparing her for school. Or, 2) I am an overly obsessive mother worrying too much about this and I need another hobby. Or, 3) I've completely missed the boat on something that I haven't thought of. (But you'll tell me about it hopefully!)

So ... yes. This transition is a BIG deal. For me. For her. For our family. And it's motivated me to start journaling to her again. Something I've let slip for the past year. But I'm back on track now. And journaling is helping me to manage my own emotions about this. Because more than anything, Cowgirl needs to see me as her 'tower of strength' during this transition, not as a mummy who is an emotional handicap! She'll figure out how to navigate my 'sensitive heart' in good time over the years to come!

I was reading through one of my books of women's quotes the other day and came across this gem from Gracie Allen ... "Never place a period, where God has placed a comma." Cowgirl's experience with school will be 'her own', and not what I necessarily feel in my heart right now. This much I know. So, this story isn't finished.

Which is why I am leaving it with a ... ,

E xxx

Pampered Pets???

2009-09-04T12:13:00.007+01:00

Not in THIS house!

Why do you ask???

And She Had ... Fun ... Fun ... Fun ... !!!

2009-08-31T20:53:00.009+01:00

What a lovely (though busy) holiday weekend we've had!

We had a most wonderful day on the Isle of Wight yesterday, surrounded by many of our very closest friends, celebrating one of our friend's birthday. The very best of times, and Cowgirl is always brilliant in those settings. She takes absolutely everything in her stride, bless her. She's amazing around adults, thoroughly filled with joy around other children, and equally content with the simplicity of her own company. We never hesitate to accept invitations, for we know she will be good company regardless of the circumstances.

On Saturday, we enjoyed a day of birthday celebration for one of Cowgirl's SWI mates. We LOVE getting together - all three families - and we do so quite often - we gather for at least 6 reunions each year since we've been home with the girls. We are fortunate in that the greatest distance between us is just over 2 hours.

All three 'little treasures' spent nearly their first year of life together at the SWI in China and these are connections that all of us are devoted to nurturing. We are the only three families in the UK to have adopted from this particular region in China, and that makes the girls' connections even more profound.

I continually marvel at how people are brought together in life. Our families have all grown so close and we thoroughly enjoy our time together. Enough that we all go away on holiday every year - more memories for the girls. And for the grown-ups. And yes, we are families who may never have crossed paths if it hadn't been for our daughters.

And 'that idea' goes back to something I read years ago - about 15 years ago - that each of us, in our lifetime, will touch at least 10,000 lives. When I first read that, I wondered how that could be possible. Even having a lot of friends and being fairly outgoing, 10,000 lives seemed quite optimistic. But now, in the wisdom of my more seasoned years, I totally 'get it'.

It's in the things we say to someone. It's in the things we do. It's in the ways we are observed and interpreted by others. It's in how we get witnessed by another. And those experiences get passed on in conversation, or email or some other form of communicating ideas. Maybe our ideas help someone with a problem. Or maybe our experiences inspire others in ways we might never know. Maybe ... we help people connect, who might otherwise never cross paths.

And THAT is why I love sharing with others, regardless of how well I may know someone, these bits of our life as a family and the things that I discover and learn. Becoming resourceful is one of my proudest achievements in life. I love connecting others to some of the same benefits, joys, opportunities - that I have been fortunate to have come upon myself.

And that is also why I marvel at how our girls have connected three very different families with different life paths, though as it turns out, very similar life values. Like our girls, the other side to that '10,000 lives' idea is that we are impacting others lives when we don't even know it. Which speaks volumes for the argument about taking on board an optimistic, positive outlook on life. And that is what our daughters are doing, for all of us 'grown-ups'. They are, optimistically, positively and honestly giving us the gift of connecting with people who have become meaningful in our lives.

I can't even put into words how absolutely proud I am of my beautiful girl. For lots of things that she doesn't even 'try' to do - she just does with the natural grace of a beautiful soul. Like lighting up a room when she walks into it. With her inherent joy. Or like managing to swell my heart with one, adoring look. And by twirling through every minute of her day singing a happy tune. This is one little girl who doesn't allow (won't allow?) her sad moments, cross moments, frustrated moments ... to get in her way for very long. From Cowgirl's vista, there is far too much joy to consume.

So ... through my daughter's presence, I probably do touch 10,000 lives. Maybe more. But one thing is for sure. The 'quality' with which I go through my own life --- has certainly risen since she became my daughter. And I became her mother.

10,000 ... and counting.

And while I'm on the topic of dogs ...

2009-08-27T20:31:00.004+01:00

This remarkable world we live in never ceases to amaze me. How cool is this?

Balance. The 'not so good' in life - being poised by the 'pretty darn wonderful'.

Our 'Other' Bathing Beauty!

2009-08-26T12:02:00.004+01:00

Both Cowgirl and Bella are learning to swim.

BUT - we did have higher expectations from Bella, being a water dog and all! However, our golden retriever only flirts with the waves at the seaside and has never been enthused enough to actually go in and swim. And because she has mild hip dysplasia, we know that swimming is a very good exercise for her. Alas, she has not shown an interest in dipping into the water yet (BUT take her through the woods on a wet day and she'll emerge black from finding every single puddle to wade through ... and it doesn't matter if the puddle is big enough to swim in, or as small as a postage stamp!) Bella will find it and absorb all the water.

I've been taking Bella to the canine pool this summer, mostly to introduce her to swimming and to build up her rear leg muscles to keep her joints as healthy as possible. So, you should see how steadfast our 'water dog' refuses to step into the pool! Mind you, once she's in she loves the swimming (so she's not 'afraid' ... just a bit fussy about getting in), but up until yesterday, she would park her bum and it took all my strength to haul her into the pool! (Which, afterwards, left ME feeling as though I needed water therapy!).

My plan was to get her accustomed to the water by having weekly sessions at the doggy pool, and then after the summer, take her to local rivers, seaside, lakes weekly (when the crowds thin out) so that she gets some good swimming exercise. But I was nearly certain that yesterday would be our last session, because even though I am a very strong person, I've been finding it exhausting work and just wasn't seeing considerable progress.

Then. Voila! After 5 weeks of hauling 38 kilos into the pool, she finally went in of her own ambition yesterday! AND I didn't have to use the long lead to keep her going. It was wonderful! I had an idea last week to buy her one of those Kong water toys and use it to play tug with her in the house (her favourite game EVER), and to toss on our walks. She loves that toy, so yesterday she was very eager to keep jumping into the water to retrieve it!

YEAH! Bella's 'retriever' genes seem to have FINALLY kicked in at 18 months old!

Having a 'rest' after a long walk in the wood.

The (last of the) Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer

2009-08-23T16:29:00.003+01:00

We've been blessed with a rather nice bit of weather as we wind down the summer holidays and slowly head in the direction towards Autumn.

A few days ago we had a lovely visit at the beach - and the always intrepid Cowgirl had her usual fantastic time.

Negotiating the beach stones. Not an easy feat, but Cowgirl isn't fussed.

Best of both worlds --- the beach AND a paddling pool.

Off to the Isle of Wight next weekend for a visit, and then ... DRUMROLL ... it's only a week after that when Cowgirl starts school. A bittersweet time for me ... but I am impressed at how 'ready' she seems to be about the whole thing.

More to come on that ... watch this space!

E xxx

Teaching is a 'Work of Heart'

2009-08-22T11:31:00.014+01:00

Next week is Cowgirl's last week at her nursery, where she's attended part-time for two years. 'Growing up' milestones are so bittersweet, aren't they? It feels quite sad to me that she is leaving the lovely nest of her first group social experience, and if 'I' am feeling emotions this deeply, then I can only imagine how it feels for her, at times, when her little spirit struggles with change as she grows up in her world. I expect it's a blend of excitement and trepidation.

The very same things I am feeling about Cowgirl starting big school in just two weeks! This is one of those times when words don't come easily, even for me! So I am allowing myself to just 'feel' this transition and take it all in - in my own way of quiet contemplation.

Showing gratitude has always been important for me. It is something that I have come to fully appreciate as I've grown through my life, and I have lots of ways I show gratitude. A double joy for me is when I can be creative to say 'thanks'.

So, for Cowgirl's teachers at her nursery, I wanted to do something meaningful, but also with a bit of 'fun factor' thrown in. I found an idea on Tip Junkie (remember that website that I love so much - link on the left in my 'favourite' blogs) and adapted it to our situation and to my own style of expression, tweaking it to fit our intentions.

I'll share what I did here, in case it's something that one of you might like to do sometime!

I made a bag of sweets for each of the teachers and helpers (1o in total), with personal sentiments attached to each sweet, using the name of the 'sweet' to trigger the sentiment. My photography of these items isn't great, so I've explained each one below. I laminated the notes, punched holes in each, and tied them with ribbon to each sweet.

I bought plain coloured foam bags and customized them with each teacher's name.

We traced Cowgirl's hand and made one for each bag, with this note 'Hands down, you are the best teacher!'.

I made heart shaped tags and put this sentiment on each: 'Teaching is a Work of Heart', and attached that, with a card including a photo of Cowgirl, to each bag.

I bought plain wooden heart shapes, and spray painted them with chalkboard paint. Then wrote, in liquid chalk, 'Thank You' on each one. They can erase that and write another message if they'd like. I LOVE chalkboard paint - and right now I'm deciding which area in the house to make the 'creative corner' where I intend to paint the wall (or part of the wall) with chalkboard paint. It's a great way to incorporate Cowgirl's playtime creativity into our everyday lives, (without it being ... ahem ... everywhere!).

I chose sweets and items that had names that personally fit sentiments for my daughter's experience at nursery. Here are the choices, and the sentiments I wrote for each:

HUBBA BUBBA (bubble gum): You have the patience of a saint to have managed all the hubba bubba from me and my friends every day!

BOUNTY: The bounty of your kindness and caring has helped me to grow strong and confident.

SMARTIES: I hope that one day I will grow up to be a smartie just like you.

MALTEASER: I've been a little (malt)teaser at times, and you've nurtured my sense of humour so that I can laugh at things in life.

CRUNCHIE: Thank you for always searching for, and finding, all my crunchied up colouring pages. (Cowgirl has a thing for folding or crunching up into the tiniest of forms, her colouring pages from nursery so they can fit into her pockets!)

TWIRL: Because you taught me to feel good about myself, I will twirl my way through school.

SNICKERS: You made my time at nursery so much fun, and I had lots of snickers every day when you told jokes to make me laugh.

M&M PEANUTS: I may be a little (M&M) peanut, but you always made room for my very big spirit and that has taught me to really like who I am.

MARS: You are 'out of this world' (Mars) and I will always remember all the wonderful times I had at nursery.

EXTRA COOL Gum: Even when I was a bit cheeky, you always remained extra cool with me.

STARBURST: Because of all your caring, nurturing and support, I will be a 'star' when I 'burst' on the scene at school

RIPPLE: Sometimes I sent a ripple of energy through nursery, but you always made me feel special even when I was wild.

CALM TEA: You are 'tea'riffic and I have loved learning from you.

I wasn't sure if giving a 'bag of sweets' would go over very well in this day and age when a lot of people are watching their nutrition. So ... the outcome? ? ?

Well ... I certainly wasn't prepared for the overwhelming and heartfelt reaction from all the teachers! They LOVED it! It evoked so much emotion and gratitude in return. And I suppose that's one of life's most important lessons ... 'what goes around, comes around'. And WHO couldn't use an unexpected dose of gratitude now and again?

(AND ... one of the BEST parts of creating this idea THIS year ... is that I can use it AGAIN ... NEXT YEAR! (Because Cowgirl will be at a new school with all new teachers!) So next year's teacher appreciation? Sorted!!!

E xxx

Under The Cherry Blossom Tree ...

2009-08-12T11:47:00.004+01:00

... that's where you'll find Cowgirl's blossoming heart!

As she is leaving nursery in a couple of weeks to start her amazing adventure to 'big school', we donated a Chinese Cherry Blossom tree to Cowgirl's nursery this week. We wanted to 'give back' something to them to honour her teachers for the loving, positive and encouraging influence they've had on Cowgirl during her time there in the past couple of years.

It was a lengthy process finding a nursery that would understand Cowgirl's special background, and respect the special requests that I made on her behalf. And we were blessed to have had this nursery recommended to us. So we wanted to 'leave behind' something that mattered ... just as their devotion and care 'mattered' to us, as a family.

Here is a bit from the card we gave them:

The Cherry Blossom tree is very meaningful for our family as it holds its origin in our daughter’s birth culture, China. For the Chinese, the cherry blossom is a very significant symbol of strength and power. Typically it represents a feminine beauty and strength, and often holds an idea of feminine influence. Within Chinese herbal lore, the cherry blossom is often the symbol of love. And that is it ... simply put ... our hearts are filled with gratitude, love and respect for all that you have done to nurture our daughter during her time at (name) Nursery.

We thought they might plant the tree in one of their fields. But we were pleasantly surprised when they decided to plant it at the entrance to the nursery. So, on the morning of Cowgirl's birthday, daddy arrived with his fork and shovel in hand, and planted the tree with care.

The manager is having a plaque made up with our names (which I thought was especially thoughtful). But in the meantime, Cowgirl drew a picture of her family and they laminated it as a temporary tribute to us! So ... with a little bit of imagination (okay ... you might need a LOT of imagination) you'll see it's a drawing of the Cherry Tree, Cowgirl, mummy and daddy.

You can see it, right? (Clearly.)
Yes, that's the cherry tree on the far left. (Obviously.)
And that's Cowgirl just to the right of the tree. (Without a doubt.)
And that's mummy 2nd from the right. (An uncanny resemblance.)
And yes, that's daddy on the far right. (You can tell by the hair.)

I KNOW! I KNOW! You're thinking what I'm thinking. It's an AMAZING likeness of us all (though you could be forgiven for thinking it was a family of stick insects. A lot of people make that mistake about us.) ;o)

On a serious note, I have a particular fondness for trees. I'm not sure, exactly, where the intensity of that fondness comes from ... but it IS intense. It must be something deeply rooted in my soul. Give me trees, and my heart is in Heaven. I can't bear to see someone cut down a healthy tree - particularly if it's done because it's more 'convenient' for people. A tree that took years and years to mature. I believe trees play a monumental role in the good health of our planet. And they serve us well for many, many decades.

On the other hand ... selfish people? Not so much .

So, we are content to 'leave behind' something that will hopefully last forever. Or at least a very, very long time. And certainly something that will add value to our planet. And joy in our hearts. And ... hopefully ... joy in the hearts of many who follow at Cowgirl's nursery.

Every year we'll return to take a photo of Cowgirl by 'her' tree. Another magnificent memory. Among many that our Cowgirl has gifted us with. One more moment in time capturing Cowgirl's blessed presence in our world.

E xxx

A Happy Ending, Indeed!

2009-08-08T19:09:00.009+01:00

It was the very BEST of times.

Cowgirl's birthday week comes to close this evening as we bask in the 'after party' glow of having our home blessed by the energy of 14 amazing, gorgeous, highly spirited children ranging in age from nearly 2 - to nearly 9. What a privilege it was to have such joy in our home all day!

It was ... in a word ... spectacular!

I found a great idea on Tip Junkie to make a castle out of a huge cardboard box, and then have the children decorate it with jewels, markers, stickers, etc. It was a huge hit! (These are the 'before' photos.) And a great way to gather the children together before games or meals. After cutting out the shape I wanted, including a door and windows, I spray painted it pink and then drew in the outline of bricks with a white sharpie marker. The kids absolutely loved decorating it, and I could always find a few of them tucked away inside the castle just having a grand time! (By the way, Tip Junkie is one of the blogs that I LOVE and it's listed under my favourites on the left here - it is a RICH resource for ideas for just about any occasion!).

The day was spectacular, sunny and very warm - a real shift from the colder, rainy days we've been having. So the birthday fairies were hard at work to make sure Cowgirl had an extra special day! And the new climbing frame got put to VERY good use!

Raw talent!

We bought Cowgirl her own CD player for her birthday, with two microphones attached and she lOVES it - hasn't stopped singing along to High School Musical all week! Today, it seemed to be one of THE places to be this afternoon, and we had concerts from the 'girl band' most of the afternoon! I love Cowgirl's passion for singing and she comes from a region in China reknown for its beautiful voices. We're not sure that singing is 'her thing' in terms of a future career ;o) but she certainly does belt out her tunes with gusto!

Art and creative stuff is my thing, really, and it's where I have a huge comfort zone. But making lovely cakes ... well, that's usually something I leave to the pastry chefs! But, this year I pushed the envelope a bit and stepped outside my comfort zone to make proper cupcakes! And they were fantastic! For the first time I did proper piping of the icing and bought edible glitter and sugar daisies. They were a big hit! It's hard to see in these photos, but they were very sparkly and I've been told 'gourmet' quality ... but don't expect to see me opening my own bakery any time soon! Once a year is enough for me!. Shame they had to be eaten though!!!

And here's another idea from Tip Junkie - A version of the classic 'I-Spy' game. I saved small, individual sized bottle servings of orange juice for weeks and weeks! Then, I filled each one about 2/3 full with raw rice (you can also use sand, but I had rice on hand so that's what I chose). I selected about 20 very small items, same for each bottle (things such as beads, sequins, buttons, feathers, coloured shapes, pasta shapes, etc.) and filled each one the same selection. Then I glued the lid back on (otherwise there would be a disaster if the children unscrewed them and the rice went flying!), and decorated each one a little differently. The children took them home as part of their parting gifts. I played the role of the 'I-Spy' spotter and had the children shake their bottles and then try to find each item as I called it out. I wasn't sure how it would go, but they loved it. So, another great idea from Tip Junkie!

Okay ... one last idea to share! (Can you tell I've had the time of my life preparing this year's party???) Here's an alternative to 'paper dolls' that has been a big hit with Cowgirl and her friends, especially slightly older girls ranging in age from 4-8. I drew a basic template for a simple doll and then modified it to make 3 different versions, as well as a boy version (as we had a few boys at the party) - just for interest. I printed these out on card stock so they were sturdy for the children to work on. I have lots of fabric scraps laying around, so I used those to cut out shapes for dresses, tops, skirts, trousers, shoes, etc. It did take some time in the evenings though because you need a LOT of these shapes for each child to do a few doll dressings. But I found it to be good 'therapy' just relaxing and cutting. Then, I gave each child a glue stick and poured the pile of fabric shapes onto the middle of the table, and Voila! They had a fantastic time. And you never heard 14 young children be so QUIET! They loved it. I highly recommend this not just as party activity, but for a nice 'quiet time' activity for any child. Toddlers needed more help from a grown up, so I'd say this appeals to ages 4-8 the best. And when the child is finished 'dressing' the doll, they can colour it in! Two activities in one!

A VERY fun time was had by all! Including mummy! .

And, of course, every Princess needs an 'outdoor' castle. You just never know what mood may strike.

So, we now have one very content, very tired and very happy Cowgirl tucked up in her bed and I suspect it will be lazy morning tomorrow!

There are lots of alternatives for throwing children's parties these days. But for me, I love having the energy of children in my home and despite the chaos and the mess to clean up afterwards, nothing compares to these memories.

Happy 4th Birthday to our magnificent, clever, funny, stunning and gorgeous Cowgirl! May this year ahead be your very best ever ... and may today's bliss linger long in your heart.

E xxx

Birthday Fun ... (with even MORE to come after tomorrow!)

2009-08-07T11:24:00.009+01:00

A new basketball net from Auntie Clare! Just the thing for a little squirt who loves to jump, loves to bounce balls, and loves to run around! (Oh, and one must have a chair at the ready, just to make sure one is cheating properly.)

And, of course, this can ALL be done while donning your brand new Princess Belle ballgown!

Enjoying a peek out of her play castle.

More basketball moves ... (is anyone else right now hearing the theme music from the 'Harlem Globetrotters'???)

Very yummy ice cream birthday cake!

And there's a BIG birthday party tomorrow here at home with 14 little people running around! We love having parties at home - children love being in their friends' houses and the loveliest of memories get created right here in our 'nest'.

There are rumours that it 'may' stop raining on occasion tomorrow. But I'm feeling a little suspect about that if today is anything to go by! Not to worry though ... mummy has LOTS of clever games and fun creative activities planned - just in case! And plenty of yummy food for the party guests!

Stay tuned for more ...

E xxx

Look Who's 4 Today!

2009-08-05T17:46:00.002+01:00

Happy 4th Birthday to our beautiful Cowgirl!

We've been so wonderfully busy with celebrations in the past week, with more to come this weekend. So stay tuned for lots of photos...

E xxx

He, Was Me

2009-07-31T14:13:00.001+01:00

You’ve got to watch a wonderful little film entitled ‘He Was Me’ by the very clever Peter Reynolds . I’ve placed the link at the end of this post.

… and just ‘ponder’.

I suppose we all have our ‘little person’, our ‘child self’ still nestled inside us. Maybe we’re keeping them protected from who knows what. Maybe we’ve forgotten just how wise our ‘little person’ is – has always been. Maybe we actually do remember how wise our little person is … and we’ve grown too ‘grown up’ to listen.

Recently, I browsed through some files from way back when. Things that I had written. Art I had created. Musings I had composed. Some of these things are from my 20’s and 30’s. And some are from my teen years.

And I was rather astounded by the wisdom I held in those early years. It was rather surreal to read some of my work from my teens and 20’s, wondering from the current view of my 5th decade, how in the world I knew such ‘stuff’ back then. How could my insights have been so philosophical? And so 'spot on'? How could my view of the world have been so clear? Before, supposedly, I had really ‘lived’ and ‘earned my stripes’.

And that turned my thoughts to my daughter. And her wisdom. I often marvel at the things she says. At the stuff she ‘knows’. At the clarity with which she sees life. Why is it that our modern culture judges a person’s value by the years they’ve lived, or the experiences they’ve had? Or the 'stuff' they've acquired? When the reality is … we come to this life with a wisdom already seated in our soul. It's up to us to use it. Or not.

Years ago, in one of the many life inspiring seminars that I attended, a story was told about a family who had just brought home their second baby. They already had a child, a little girl, who was 3. The ‘big sister’ was so eager to hold the new baby and spend time with her new sibling. Understandably, her parents were cautious about how fragile the new baby was still, and always chaperoned the 3-year old whenever she wanted to be near the baby.

One afternoon, the little girl insisted – adamantly insisted - that she wanted to go see her baby sibling in her crib – BUT she wanted to be alone, without her parents’ help. Naturally, the parents were a bit uneasy, but they decided to allow it because there was a baby monitor in the room, and they would listen outside the door. And the 3-year old seemed so - sure - that this is what she needed.

The ‘big sister’ went proudly into the baby’s room and walked up to the crib and put her face as close as she could to the new infant. “Baby” she said very softly. “Tell me about God. I am starting to forget Him.”

I wasn’t a particularly religious person at the time, but it made such an impact on me and I will never forget it. This story fills me with a well needed reminder that children are born into this life still so very connected to their ‘source’. They are wise beyond our imagination and beyond our capability to 'accept' such wisdom - in such a little person. Their hearts and minds still uncluttered by rules, still un-smothered by conforming in ways that are driven by fear. Still pure in their intentions. Still with hearts that can forgive – readily and easily. Without a grudge. Still ‘knowing’ – comforted by the ‘greater power’ that has gifted them with life.

Children are still so close to their ‘source’. And yet we often dismiss their feelings or their opinions, or their ideas as being the product of someone ‘too young to know better’.

Maybe it’s time we just let our own ‘little persons’ out to play again. And forget the gibberish that we conveniently call ‘maturity’.

Tag! You’re ‘It’!

Enjoy this little film !! (It may take a few moments to download.)

E xxx

All Shall Be Well. And All Shall Be Well. And All Maner of Things Shall Be Well.

2009-07-20T18:36:00.009+01:00

Cowgirl (sniff…) starts proper ‘big girl’ school (Reception aka Kindergarten) in September. I knew this was coming, obviously, and for what seems like ages, I’ve been preparing her for this monumental transition in her life.

And in the process of painstakingly making sure that SHE is being prepared … I had forgotten to prepare myself. Or at least to pay enough attention to my own emotions, and grieving (and shock!) that this milestone brings with it.

I always thought that I’d look forward to her going to school, primarily because she’s always loved learning and has always seemed ahead of her years with what she’s shown an interest in doing. She’s chuffed about learning how to read in nursery now and delighted she can write her name. She has a natural desire for wanting to know ‘what’s next’ – and I have to say this is largely down to her genetics. Sure. We spend a lot of time with her and she lives a very broad, full and enriched life in our world. But we don’t do a lot of intentional learning – it just seems to come in great amounts of curiosity for Cowgirl.

I subscribe to a parenting newsletter and every so often I get a little blurb in my inbox with a meaningful metaphor or message about parenting. Recently, I had a little gem in my inbox, quite timely I think, as well.

The name ‘Errol Flynn’ may be familiar to some reading this. He was an early 20th-century film actor who often played the role of a swashbuckling hero. He truly seemed a masterful and debonair swordsman. When asked how he handled his sword with such grace, Flynn was known to have said that he held it as if he were holding a small bird. Here was his philosophy:

‘If held too loosely, it would fly away. If held too tightly, it would be crushed to death.’

The key to his mastery was staying tuned in enough to *feel* that just-right place between too loose and too tight.That metaphor really resonates with me and how I am focussed on parenting Cowgirl. Especially in these days leading up to such a significant transition – for both of us. I ‘get’ the necessity of giving children enough independence and freedom to live their life and to travel the path they are meant to travel. I really do ‘get’ that.

Still … my emotions seem to be overtaking my sensibility in these weeks leading up to Cowgirl’s start of school. In some ways, I feel as though we have just finally gotten to know each other. (Other adoptive parents may know just what I mean by this.) It feels as though we’ve finally connected in the way that I had always expected I would with my child. We’ve only had 3 of her 4 years together, having missed the privilege of being her mother during nearly her whole first year of life. So, I am not eager to welcome any more ‘loss’ just yet.

And that’s what embarking on this new chapter of life feels like for me. That I am ‘losing’ Cowgirl to school … to the world that awaits her. And in a way, this is true. Though I know, sensibly, that I am not losing ‘her’ so to speak. But I do feel, in a sense, a small gap developing between the cosiness of our ‘nest’ together, and the broadened boundaries that she will soon experience as ‘life’.

… experiences she will have … without me.

So, as I enjoy these few weeks with Cowgirl before she trots off to school and a world ‘without me’, I am paying ever closer attention to how I am ‘holding’ Cowgirl in my life.

Sometimes I am content to hold her in my heart more loosely than other times. Sometimes the threat of the ‘big world’ doesn’t seem so consuming. Other times … I feel as though I have to clutch her to me, to prevent the claws of the unknown from taking her too soon.

So, I wonder.

Do I hold my daughter ‘too loosely’ in life? Are there times when I have taken a particular moment for granted? Those who know me personally, know that I’m not a particularly anxious mum in that I don’t panic if she trips or falls - I don't cover her in cotton wool --- I am content to let her learn from her experiences, while certainly being attentive when it matters. And I’ve been known to take the old fashioned – ‘okay – now get over it’ position when a certain Cowgirl lays on the dramatics a bit too obviously. But over anxious? No. I probably couldn’t be accused of that.

Or. COULD I? Be overanxious, that is. It could be my imagination. But it does seem that I cuddle my daughter more these days. Maybe I am ‘smothering’ her - and don’t realize it. I find myself – observing myself- during my interactions with Cowgirl. And I admit that I need to check on her throughout the night more often than I think I did before. And I need to remind myself of the scent of her hair more often than I thought to do in previous years. And certainly I am comforted more frequently by the touch of her skin when she brushes past me. And I am more conscious of my need to be ‘patient’ with this gorgeous personality that is emerging from her.

But I wonder.

My heart seems to be opening even more these days … more than I thought possible. I am having many more of those moments when I actually physically feel my heart expanding in those fleeting seconds when Cowgirl brushes past me. Or says something funny. Or does something endearing. Or. Just when she shows up.

So, I wonder.

Am I holding Cowgirl too closely to me, metaphorically? Do I trust, enough, that all will be well? As Julian of Norwich suggested, is it really true that ‘all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well?’ Really?

I can’t seem to relax my emotional ‘grip’ at the moment. And this is likely the influence of knowing I will be ‘losing’ her to school soon. I keep telling myself …

‘Relax your grip, and trust that ... All. Will. Be. Well.’

And my head says, ‘Okay, I can do that’.

But my heart says, ‘Pffffttttt. Yeah, right. Are you NUTS?’

There are days, as with most parents (if not all), when I think ‘Ah, it’ll be great when Cowgirl is in school all day’. But when I read those words here in living colour, I feel my throat begin to close up a bit and the air comes with less ease. I feel a slight ‘grasping’. As though I am losing my grip.

In 6 weeks time. To the care of others. Not including me. She'll be learning how to be more and more independent. Learning how to ‘be’. Without ‘me’.

I can’t even write this without the deepest of emotion welling in my heart, filling me with a sense of grieving for my baby growing up. The baby who never really got to be a baby in the first place ... is venturing out into the world.

And yet, I am SO proud of Cowgirl --- I can’t even find the words to say this with any real justice to her. I am immensely proud of how she has swallowed life. Whole. With no looking back.

But handing her over to the care of others? Every day?

Well. THIS … THIS is the most difficult stage of parenting for me.

So far.

E xxx

Gracefully. Courageously. Patiently.

2009-07-15T13:57:00.015+01:00

Our very loved friend, Sandra, surrendered her struggle with cancer this morning.

(Photo: January 2008)

She leaves behind a space that will always be over-run with her generous and thoughtful spirit. And her special sense of humour. And her steady wishes for everyone in her life to be happy and healthy and content.

And her deep fondness for Cowgirl.

Enjoy the journey, Sandra. You dropped like a gentle pebble into the pond of my soul, and though you probably never fully realized it ... you made a huge splash on my life!

Rest peacefully, dear friend. We love you. We shall always remember you. xxx

By The Grace Of My Daughter

2009-06-26T18:28:00.004+01:00

It is perhaps a characteristic of being an adoptive parent that I often measure the time since we've been blessed with God's good graces to become a family. If I had given birth to my daughter through my body as opposed to in my heart, I wonder if I would count the weeks and months with such meticulous care. Or would it just be a 'given'.

But losing even one day from our daughter's life completely shifts the balance of completeness. And I probably take far less for granted - like counting the minutes since our family was formed. And though time takes our attention away from any moments we lost in our experience with her, it really and truly only hides them. Most of the time it does feel as though we have been a family forever. But the reality is ... we missed nearly an entire year together. And however small that amount of time may be in the grander scheme of things ... it will always be part of the equation of our family.

(Photos below: June 2009 & June 2006)

I know that there is always the argument that we can't miss what we don't know. And I used to believe that. A long time ago. But I'm pretty sure I don't believe that now. A child, however young, somehow 'knows' instinctively what they lack. And they, in turn, instinctively search for ways to make up for that - whether through their life views, their actions, their spirit in life. The choices they make. The ways in which they are able to love. Or not able to love. Able to trust. Or not able to trust. Able to relinquish control. Or feel a need to manage absolutely everything in their path.

(Photos below: June 2006 & June 2009)

And while I don't dwell on those lost days with Cowgirl, or those lost 'firsts', or those many moments when she desperately needed a mother's love and I wasn't there to provide that ... I do feel that those lost moments count for something, and some days, they feel as gaping as a huge hole in the start of our life together as a family. It's as if someone has taken a photograph of a beautiful scene, and cut out various holes in it. You still have the 'bigger picture' and you can 'assume' what used to be there. But you can't be certain. And you can't help but feel just a little bit ... well ...cheated, for lack of a more intimate word.

(Photos below: June 2006 & June 2009)

Today we celebrate our 3-year anniversary of becoming a family. Three years since that first moment when Cowgirl's presence magically turned the brightness of our lives up quite a few notches. The 'colours' in our world changed - they sharpened. They are more intense now. And ever since, we wonder how we managed before her arrival.

(Photos below: June 2009 & June 2006)

I look at my daughter today through the eyes of an eternally grateful mother and I marvel at her journey.

When we adopted her, Cowgirl was 10.5 months old and she weighed no more than 12 pounds - she wasn't much bigger than a typical healthy 3 or 4 month old baby. She couldn't sit up on her own without toppling over. Her ragdoll-like legs and arms held no noticeable strength. She couldn't completely turn herself over onto her tummy. She hadn't ever tasted the richness of solid foods. Or had the comfort of a simple, soft textured toy. To some on the 'outside looking in', this may have seemed endearing. To us, it felt as though our daughter's early life had been burgled. With no evidence to trace. No clues about where those stolen months may have gone.

(Photos below: June 2006 & June 2009)

Back then, Cowgirl's mind was clearly far more developed and active than her little body. Her mind wanted to do so much - to grow - to learn - to DO! Raring to go! She has always been sharp as a tack. Alert. Curious. Aware. Ready. Prepared. Perhaps a bit too much so for such a young child. It is often noted by adoption experts that institutionalized children can grow up to give the impression of being fairly independent. That they often seem 'in control'. Headstrong. Determined. Stubborn. Willful.

We see inklings of these traits still, and as the seeds were planted at such a young age, these characterstics will likely be Cowgirl's strengths and her vulnerabilities throughout her life. That's the way it is with many children who have had to endure trauma at such a young age. And that's the way it is with children whose first awareness of 'living' is life in an institution without consistent nurturing. At such an early age, Cowgirl needed to decide that if she was going to survive, then she needed to be 'in charge'. And if she was to be 'in charge', then she needed to be 'tough'. And if she was going to be 'tough' ... then she needed to be 'master and commander' of the world around her.

(Photo circa February 2006 - est. 5-6 months old)

Imagine such a lofty responsibility in the psyche of an infant! At an age when most babies still haven't realized that they are actually separate from their mother, our Cowgirl was learning how to 'take charge' of her life.

Fast forward three years.

I am generally intrigued by turning things around and seeing what they look on the other side. Like with my art. The 'back' is as important to me as the front. And I do that with Cowgirl's perspective on life. Both sides hold essential treasures that must be spotted to appreciate. There is some 'hope' in what she learned at an early age. Hope that she will always trust herself first and foremost. To always rely on her intuition. To always know she is the best judge of her skills and her emotions. And then to take in the opinions of the world - as a bit of a barometer - but only in a supporting role.

We are gradually being more and more rewarded by how Cowgirl's defenses are lowering. How her boundaries are relaxing. How loving and lovable she allows her self to be with us. How brave she's become at giving herself permission to 'feel' hurt, and 'feel' angry, 'feel' sad. And feel genuinely 'happy'. There can be nothing more fulfilling than knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that your child trusts you with her world. And her wonders. And her curiosities. And her insecurities. And her hopes.

Our loftiest parenting challenge, I believe, is to strike a balance where, on one hand, we consciously work hard to not project a sense of being a 'victim' onto her - though we could be forgiven for becoming entrapped by that view because she had such a rough start to life, and because she is adopted. But that - no question - would be huge disservice to her.

And on the other hand, we work equally hard to nurture her every need, her every worry, her every insecurity. Her every hope. No matter how large or small they may seem from our perspective. Because it's not our perspective that matters when it comes to the reality of how Cowgirl's early life experiences shape her world - today. What matters is what she feels and perceives.

Cowgirl does need to be determined. And she does need to have a strong will. And she does need a healthy perspective about what to fear and what to trust. And she needs to have these qualities from the perspective of a rising 4 year old. She's an 'old soul', our daughter. And she's a survivor. But she needs her childhood to last as long as possible.

(Photos below: June 2009 & June 2006)

One of the loveliest compliments that we hear, every day it seems, from friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers - anyone who has the pleasure to know our daughter or who just meets her in passing, is ...

'Isn't she such a happy soul'!

Indeed! And for this mother's heart, that is pure gold to hear. Cowgirl is a genuine 'happy soul'. She pushes boundaries at times and let's us know under no uncertain circumstances when she is 'less than happy' with us or with her world in general! Thankfully. Another sign that she has learned to be vulnerable with us. Comfortable in her own skin.

But being a happy soul is just an inherent part of who she is, and what she has come to this world to do with her life. I know that my daughter would not ever know how to be a 'happy soul' if she hadn't already experienced and known the darker side of life. And this - is a sort of mother's pandora's box ... knowing that your child's happiness will be strengthened only as a byproduct of learning how to face, capture, accept and then conquer the darker, shadow side of living.

That Cowgirl had to learn this in such an intense way at such an early age - well, that just fills me with a deep melancholy at times. But the mirror image of that is how my heart sings that she has learned it at all. In her own time. In her own way. And how she's come out simply flourishing.

And it suits her.

By the grace of God, my daughter has been blessed with amazing health and vitality. She is robust, strong, unbelievably energetic and quite the athlete. This, is largely a genetic gift from her birth parents.

Our daughter has also been blessed with an incredible sense of humour, a grand optimistic outlook on life. And a very loving way of connecting with us and those who are most important to her. Our daughter has a talent for helping those around her to feel involved and appreciated; she is guided by a huge 'joie de vivre' and pretty much a penchant for 'carpe diem'!

And all of that, is largely a 'nurturing' gift from us and those who play a part in shaping her daily life and her experiences.

Cowgirl comes from two worlds.

One is hers by birth. And the other is hers --- because she deserves every happiness, every opportunity and every ounce of love that the world has to offer. Carpe diem.

As my daughter's mother, I come from two worlds.

One is mine by the grace of God. And the other is mine ---

--- by the grace of my daughter.

3 Years.
36 Months.
156 Weeks.
1,092 Days.

26,208 Hours.
1,572,480 Minutes.

... but who's counting?

Happy Family Day, Cowgirl! We love you --- completely --- and beyond the end of time! xxx

Just Add Water ...

2009-06-19T12:45:00.000+01:00

... and a few days of hard labour!

We ordered a lovely wooden tree house/climbing frame/monkey bars for Cowgirl and it was recently delivered. In lots and lots of pieces of lumber. I joked with the delivery man 'where's that little house-like tower that is supposed to sit up towards the trees?' Tough audience. Okay, so it probably wasn't a very 'original' thing to say. BUT - Geez! He could have made a teensy attempt at cracking even a hint of a smile. I'm guessing he doesn't have kids. He seemed too focussed to be a parent. Kids do tend to strip you of any humility and before you know it, you are becoming just like corny Uncle Jack who used to tell the world's worst jokes.

Anyway! I digress

Auntie Clare came down for the weekend to help daddy put the thing together. She's very good about things like constructing climbing frames. She arrived on Saturday morning expecting, I'm certain, to be heading home Sunday morning. Assuming she'd stay on a bit just to watch her niece enjoy the new addition.

HAR! HAR! HAR!

Okay. Sorry. One of the first things they noticed was that there were two sets of instructions. Each one told a very different story. It was like being part of those murder mystery evenings where you have to figure out 'who dun it'. Except the mystery in this case was trying to decipher 'who dun' the instructions. (And actually, if mummy had been helping daddy, then there might have been a murder after all. Daddy is rather 'precise'. Mummy is fond of taking 'short cuts'.)

So mummy and Cowgirl went to the local animal farm with Kate and Alice (who were visiting for the day). After all, Mummy is no fool.

The 'pidgeon english' instructions suggested it would take '2 people 4 hours' to build.

Polite waiting. Polite waiting. Polite waiting.

Have you stopped laughing now?

(Cowgirl enjoying an ice lolly in her new hideaway!)

Two and a half days later (yes. 2 1/2 days later.) the Tree House, Climbing net and monkey bars were up and we were in business! And Cowgirl spends all her waking hours out there! We knew she would, but it is a bit 'phew' anyway.

One of the funniest things we noticed on one set of intruction was this suggestion ... 'must be constructed on day of delivery'. You learn something new every day. We hadn't been aware that climbing frames had a 'sell by date'.

Well done Daddy and Auntie Clare!

And well done mummy for staying out of the way!

Bella's Got A Toyboy!

2009-06-09T10:28:00.003+01:00

Bella has a new playmate!

Meet Groover - the cutest, liveliest, and COOLEST labrador puppy on the planet! Groover's 'mum & dad' often look after Bella, so there will no doubt be lots of playdates in the future.

Isn't he just precious?

He's about as big as Bella's head ... ... ...

... ... ... but, love is blind, afterall!

He really idolizes Bella and it's so sweet how he follows her and copies her. Cowgirl is delighted and calls him her 'little fella'! No idea where she coined that phrase from, but she adores Groover.

xxx

So. In. Love.

2009-06-01T06:32:00.005+01:00

... with my ...

beautiful and sweet ...

very, very funny

immensely brave & talented

limitlessly loving

and very clever, cheeky little angel!

Spinning Plates ... Jumping Through Hoops ... Riding Bicycles Indoors ... And a Cheeky Monkey Running About!

2009-05-31T20:29:00.016+01:00

No! Not a typical day in Cowgirl's life!

We went to the Chinese State Circus today!

And Cowgirl thoroughly enjoyed herself - enthralled by absolutely every aspect of the entertainment.

We were really impressed by the performances and the sheer skill level of the talented cast. Cowgirl had endless questions throughout the entire show, and we were equally impressed with that! ;o)

(what's he doing? why are they doing that? is it finished? what are they carrying? why do they have those? why isn't the lion dancing? is it finished? why is it dark in here now? where are they going now? what are they doing with that? why are they stopping? is it finished? ...

...and you get the picture!) ...

Still, we clearly could see the 'seeds' of gymnastics being planted in her little mind - if her insistance at tumbling for ages on the grass outside the circus tent is anything to go by!

Oh! And her attempts at being a toddler contortionist!

The 'Monkey King' frequently came around to the audience to shake hand and make funny face at the children.

It was very moving when he did what seemed a double-take with Cowgirl, and came back to pat her endearingly on the nose. I couldn't help but wonder if he had noticed she is Chinese and wanted to make a special connection. Whatever it was, she enjoyed the attention.

I was not a huge fan of the circus when I was a kid (I never found clowns to be very endearing ... and I was always too sensitive to watch animals, in captivity, performing).

Thankfully there were NO performing animals today, so I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the show!

The featured talents included The Shaolin Wu-Shu Warriors, The Monkey King, Swinging Poles, Spinning Plates, Impressive Hat juggling, Contortion, Diablos (chinese yo-yo), and some 2008 Beijing Olympic performers. My two favourite performances were the Sensual Aerial Silk duet and the Hoop Diving. Beautifully graceful acts.

(And we've had a diablo for years now, by the way, and no one we know has ever been able to really get it working properly! So we were particularly stunned at the ease with which the performers tossed them in the air, jumped rope with them, batted them back and forth to each other. Sigh. Ours comes out every Chinese New Year ... sits on the coffee table ... gets a brief comment or two ... and then gets put away again without seeing much action! ;o)

And now, as I write this, there is one very content, and very tuckered out little Cowgirl asleep for the night. Perhaps dreaming of her own ambitions in gymnastics one day.

Or maybe just ... dreaming.

It Takes A Village ... But Does The Village 'Really' Want to Know?

2009-05-28T15:18:00.029+01:00

My daughter is a rising 4-year old. And quite often I think a lot about the world that she's growing up into. Some days I feel guilty that she will inherit a world that seems, at least on the surface, to be less kind, less safe, less caring. Less interested. In some ways.

But maybe that's just me being nostalgic.

Perhaps she's also growing into a world that has greater potential ... maybe. Greater promise. Perhaps. More opportunity. Certainly. Less struggle? Not sure. More hope? That is my wish.

On one hand, when you love a child then you want to do everything in your power to protect them and buffer them from the things that you know will hurt them. On the other hand, I do believe there is a danger in interfering too much with a child's potential for developing their own essential intuition and general capacity for learning from mistakes. The sort of 'think on your feet' kind of stuff. Steet smarts.

There certainly is a lot of talk among parents these days about whether or not we might be over-protecting our children in our culture. Local governments are even beginning to admit concerns about this. Interesting when you consider that it's generally a government's Health & Safety campaigns that have influenced a child's inability to actually 'play' in playgrounds and other public places - in the first place.

It is sobering to realize how much we might be stifling in our children. And our intentions may be in the right place. But what are we sacrificing in the long run? Even schools now seem to have lists that resemble old time proclamations with commands about what children can no longer do, how children can no longer play, and ways in which teachers can no longer support the children in their care.

It is not a topic that is simple to define. And I respect that some children actually have been victims of inappropriate behaviour or unsafe conditions. There are too many variables to say what should or shouldn't be. But I get melancholy when I think about what my daughter might miss in terms of establishing important relationships when she's at school. Or whether she might miss out on adventurous experiences ... because suddenly ... they are deemed unsafe. Or unconstitutional. Or ... whatever.

And then there's the whole argument about whether or not our world is a more dangerous place, less dangerous place, or just as dangerous a place today ... as it once was. At times it seems the media wants us to take cover in the safety of our homes, only to venture out at our own risk. At other times I'm saddened to think that we may be robbing our children of the glorious world that is out there for them to enjoy.

I read an article recently published here in the UK. One point of the article, among others, was to question how we might have become over-protective of our children today. Have we made their world too sterile with health & safety regulations, limitations on the kind of play they can engage in at public play areas, restraints on how schools and teachers can engage with our children and restrictions on the sort of adventures they can participate in. Should we let them earn a few more bumps and bruises so they learn important life lessons? Are we interrupting some essential 'intuitive' development by putting too many boundaries and parameters around them?

I'm not sure I believe that this is true to the extent the author suggested. I'm not sure that it's really a more dangerous world out there. I don't know if there are really more people lurking about who want to bring harm to our children - or are we just more aware of them now? I don't know. I'm not even sure if these questions can be answered. Enough. I do know it's a very tough world out there. And I certainly wouldn't get complacent about my child in a public place. Nor would I entrust her to anyone I wouldn't also entrust my own life.

I don't perceive myself to be an overly protective
or jumpy mum when it comes to my daughter’s physical play. She’s a child who will only learn by ‘doing’ – no amount of my warnings work nearly as well as her learning for herself what will hurt and what will not. If anything, I am the last mother to jump up if she has a moderate fall – sometimes I do wonder if I'm not anxious enough. But I think that you just instinctively know when it’s serious and when it’s not. I’m there when it matters, but I don’t generally interfere with how she navigates the physical space in her immediate world. I regularly second-guess myself about this, especially when I see other parents who jump and fuss at the slightest trip or bump their child makes, turning it into a drama, which almost always seems to make the child overly anxious. So it's a delicate balance. But I appreciate that there are different styles for parenting different personalities of children.

I just so happen to be the mother of a human missile. She reminds me of the sort of person who would love to get shot from a cannon! Cowgirl does the 'Monica' thing (from the TV show Friends) whenever she falls. She instantly looks up at me with a big cheeky grin and proclaims, 'I'M OKAY!' and then resumes whatever daredevil activity she was up to before the inconvenient mishap. I am there when it counts. And I am vaguely invisible when I think my daughter needs me to not be in her way.

I am, however, protective when it comes to always being able to SEE where my daughter is when she’s out and about with me. She’s only rising 4 so I don’t like her running off to the point where I can’t reach her quickly in the (unlikely but possible) case of an accident, or if I can't see her and she can’t see me (I’m referring here to being out on the Downs or along the seafront, or someplace like that – not in a confined area). Even though I observe other mums who seem much less concerned about this with their same-aged children, I won’t yet let her out of my sight and at her age, I feel that’s more than reasonable. But one day in the not too distant future ... that tether will stretch. And stretch. And stretch.

But ... will MY ability to champion her development stretch at an equally necessary pace?

So back to the article. It was one of the comments made at the end of the article that got my attention more than anything. A man commented about how he once saw a lost little girl who was distressed. He wanted to help her, but didn't. According to him, he was concerned about 'how it would look' if a man approached a young child in public. And he has felt ashamed about that ever since. At the time, he waited and watched (as if that was an appropriate alternative) and the girl’s mother eventually turned up.

He wanted to help, but was afraid to because of how others might interpret his intentions as a man approaching a young child.

Whoa! THAT got my mind doing flips.

I would be horrified to think that my daughter could be in a situation one day where she was being threatened somehow. And someone watching might not come to her aid because they'd be more concerned about interfering, than in doing the right thing and helping her.

And THAT attitude is where I think we are letting ourselves and our children down. Maybe not so much in being over-protective. But in modeling the ways in which we, as adults, are reluctant to 'get involved' anymore. Fearful to help others because of 'how it will look' ... because of what others 'might say'.

Yes, there are risks today in how we go about approaching children or other people when they are in trouble. But I don’t think that worrying about what others might think, or not wanting to be harrassed or criticized by others is a good enough reason for not getting involved in something as important as helping a child. Or another person. Or an animal. If we, as adults, don’t have the 'chutzpah' to get involved, then we don’t have much hope of teaching our children, as a general population, the value of ‘doing the right thing’.

I don’t proclaim to know the answer. But it makes me curious. And it makes me wonder ... do we really want to raise a generation of fearful, apathetic adults?

Or maybe the question is ... why don't we want a better outlook for our children?

So, yes. It takes a village ... but I can't help but challenge whether or not the 'villages' in our western cultures 'really and truly' want to know?

I wonder what YOU think?

The Cutest Mulan --- Ever!

2009-05-21T22:18:00.007+01:00

Cowgirl has been a popular little girl with the postman today. Two packages arrived. One from Auntie Carol in California (see previous post today).

And another from Auntie Marni and her cousins, Alanna, Kyle and Ryan! She was beside herself with joy this morning with all the lovely gifts that she received! A Mulan costume!

We have been wanting a Mulan costume (it's one of Cowgirl's favourite disney characters), but have had trouble finding it here in the UK. But bless Auntie Marni for finding one in America!

Doesn't Cowgirl look so cute in her Mulan outfit! She can't wait to wear it - which will likely be a dressing up favourite, but also for Halloween (a toss-up between Mulan and Gabriella from High School Musical!) and Chinese New Year next year!

AND she also received in the same package some High School Musical light-up pajamas, HSM bathrobe and a HSM handbag! Oh, my! The squeals of delight filled the air at home this morning!

Cowgirl just HAD to wear her pajama top (the one that lights up!) to nurery today, and went to bed still clutching it to her body! I think she is rather pleased!

Thank You Auntie Marni for such fantastic and perfect gifts and for ALWAYS knowing what to send Cowgirl!

We have one very, very delighted little girl sleeping with great contentedness right now, and with her soul still singing!

My Twirly Whirly Girl

2009-05-21T22:05:00.004+01:00

Look at my beautiful Cowgirl all dressed up in a special gift that arrived in the post today from Auntie Carol in California!

When Cowgirl opened the package and saw the dress she exclaimed "Mummy! It's a twirly whirly dress!" I think that means she can twirl around in it and feel like a princess!

My little tomgirl is gradually going through a metamorphasis and turning into a little 'girly girl'. What a delight! And she glides into both parts of her world with the greatest of ease.

And have you noticed how lovely she poses now? So sweet!!!

Thank You! Thank You! For The Memories!

2009-05-17T18:00:00.010+01:00

We are just back from a wonderful week's holiday in the West Country ...

... where we joined two other two families who adopted from the same orphanage in China, at the same time as us in June 2006. Our three girls are the same age and were friends during their time in the orphanage, and since coming home to the UK, their friendship has blossomed. We are all committed to planning annual holidays together so that the girls can continue to build their bonds and their very treasured friendships --- and also so we, as parents, can all continue to nurture our special friendships with each other. We consider both families to be 'extended family' of ours, and this is extremely memorable and cherished time that we spend.

It was quite a full and happy week. Cowgirl went swimming every day and is getting accustomed to her goggles now. The pool was fantatic (indoor/outdoor/whirlpool/rapids etc.) and each day brought new horizons for her swimming talents.

With three 3.5 year old girls (rising 4) around, we enjoyed plenty of dressing up games playing 'princesses'! (Doesn't Cinderella also wear combat trousers underneath her gown?)

And sometimes the princesses had to take important phone calls --- from the Prince, of course! After all ... even the Prince needs to be kept in line from time to time!

We enjoyed wonderful walks through the forests and had great fun at the adventure playgrounds.

We did a great amount of colouring in and drawing! And Arts & Crafts! And getting fairy tattoos! (Cowgirl's colouring-in concentration is pretty impressive these days!)

We shared meals and further nurtured our friendships. And we created more lovely memories to add to our already overflowing memory books. And we all returned home a little bit knackered. And a LOT happy and content!

And without hesitation, we are already looking forward to next year's holiday with Cowgirl's 'China Sisters' and their families!

Thank you, all, for an absolutely fabulous time! xxx

Those moments ...

2009-05-05T14:11:00.009+01:00

... when you actually feel your love for your child swelling inside you, as if something is actually growing and taking up more space than you noticed it did ... just earlier in the day. And for a fleeting moment it feels as though you might burst from the fullness.

Those Moments ... when you gently cup your child's face in your hands and you know in that instant that you are holding something most precious. Most delicate. Most priceless. Most irreplaceable.

Those Moments ... when you catch a glimpse of your child ... quite unexpectedly ... and your heart pumps with a rush of emotion. And pride. And love. And feelings that don't yet have a name.

Those Moments ... when your child runs to you and throws her arms around your neck and smothers your face with kisses, leaving no doubt as to how much they adore you. And trust you. And need you. And you never quite feel as though you deserve such innocent, complete love.

Those Moments ... when you say 'night night' and just as you gently pull the door, you hear the loveliest, softest voice say, from deep in the snuggle beneath the duvet ... 'Night, night, Mummy. I love you.' And you realize it was completely unsolicited.

Those Moments ... when you wake still exhausted from the day before and you're desperate for 5 more minutes sleep, and you know you're about to start yet another whirlwind day looking after your child. And still, you cannot wait to hear their little feet running from their bed. Can't wait to see their bright smile running into your arms. All hope of 5 more minutes sleep suddenly pales in comparison.

It is in Those Moments that joy is defined. And either I am being blessed with what seems a surplus of Those Moments lately ... or ... more likely ... I am waking up more to my good fortune to be my daughter's mother.

E xxx

So Proud of My Beautiful Girl!

2009-05-03T19:40:00.014+01:00

My beautiful Cowgirl was baptized today in our church. Isn't she so lovely!!

It was such a happy, lovely and meaningful experience and my little treasure was just brilliant the entire time. We are immensely proud of her. And isn't this such a beautiful dress? Cowgirl chose it herself and the 'princess factor' went a long way to keep her excited about getting dressed on the day!

It has to be daunting for a 3-year old to participate in such a ritual as a baptism - quite different than an infant who is snuggled in the safety of a parent's arms and often is oblivious to the event.

We've practised quite a lot in the bathtub and at the sink in recent months, preparing her for when the priest would pour the water onto her head. But still, even with preparation, with a young child you just never know how things will unfold on the day!

But she's a very quick study, our Cowgirl, and her effervescent personality penetrates any audience - you really can't help but become instantly captivated by her spirit.

And our priest is so lovely, which went a long way toward making the whole experience thoroughly enjoyable, thoroughly happy and ... perfect.

Thank you to all 5 of Cowgirl's very precious Godparents, to Grandma, Grandad and Auntie C, and to all of our wonderful friends who came along and helped us celebrate. It was very special indeed that you were all a part of such a memorable day.

After a very exciting morning, and a celebration party that lasted well into this evening, our cherished Cowgirl is tucked away in bed, sound asleep.

It is my hope that only comforting and happy dreams find their way into my daughter's sleep tonight.

Today, my heart swelled more than I thought it had room to grow. I keep underestimating a mother's capacity to expand her love.

E xxx

Just Because She's So Lovely ...

2009-04-30T11:20:00.003+01:00

... And she brings such love and comfort to our family! Our Bella lives up to her name ... she's a 'beautiful' golden retriever, with a beautiful spirit.

Ok. So Now I'm hooked.

2009-04-27T14:39:00.011+01:00

I've had a face painting kit for over a year now ... but it's gone untouched. Zero interest from Cowgirl.

Until today!

After yesterday's party (see post just before this one), Cowgirl realized that she gets LOTS of lovely comments when her face is painted. So, she decided that she wanted to do it again. Today! And as it's a rainy day here, it was a very fun activity!

So here's mummy's first attempt at painting Cowgirl's face as a butterfly! Clearly, I need some practice, but I have to say that Cowgirl was a perfect model! She sat really still and apart from barking orders at me as to which colours to use, she was brilliant!

All day long, Cowgirl has been saying, every few minutes ... 'Look at my butterfly face, mummy'!

I think she's pleased.

E xxx

She's Gonna Party Like It's ... 2009

2009-04-26T20:35:00.009+01:00

Cowgirl went to a birthday party today - something that seems to be on the agenda quite frequently these days.

She wore her little outfit that we bought at the recent CACH Reunion ... a pair of jean overalls that had been very creatively restyled by someone into a rather splendid outfit.

It is so sweet - a little bit of tomboy mixed with a little bit of princess - just right for Cowgirl! (Thanks, Jules, for spotting this at the Reunion!)

This was the first time ever that Cowgirl said she wanted to have her face painted. For some reason, it's not been an interest before. She was really chuffed at being made up as a fairy (her current alter ego is Tinkerbell).

I imagine that I'll be getting some practise at doing face painting in the weeks ahead. Good preparation for her birthday party in August!

What a happy soul! Her daddy and I still can't believe how blessed we are.

E xxx

'I Don't Know'

2009-04-17T10:58:00.009+01:00

Somehow, my 3 1/2 year old morphed into a teen overnight. Here's the conversation when I picked her up from nursery yesterday:

Me: Did you have a fun time with your friends today?

Cowgirl: (looking out the window) I don't know.

Me: Who did you play with when you went outside?

Cowgirl: (still looking out the window) I don't know.

Me: What did (the teacher) say when you told her all about the fun we had on our Easter holidays?

Cowgirl: (even still looking out the window) I don't know.

Me: What DO you know?

Cowgirl: (smiling) I don't know.

Me: Why are you saying 'I don't know'.

Cowgirl: (smiling, this time with a cheeky grin) I don't know.

You might get the impression from this fascinating, captivating conversation that Cowgirl doen't talk much. But Oh! Would you ever be mistaken! Ordinarily, I am looking for the 'mute' button. And after that exchange, I might ordinarily have given a subtle little eye roll and chalk it up to Cowgirl just being tired from the day. But 'I don't know' seems to be the 'habit' of the week - said more as a mantra than a real sentiment. And it really doesn't suit Cowgirl because she is inherently a pretty chatty, over-the-top, fairly conversational little girl. Saying 'I don't know' to practically everything lately seems to be a fad and although I know it's temporary like all things 'toddler' - it's driving me nuts! I keep thinking she must have picked it up at nursery (nursery, by the way, is a great place to lay blame for all the things you don't want to personally 'own' as a parent - am I right?). Or maybe she picked it up on Charlie & Lola - she's sounding suspiciously a LOT like Lola these days.

Wherever the 'I don't know' phrase came from, it's one of those 'hands that I'm choosing to play'. So, yesterday we had the conversation about how it makes mummy feel sometimes when Cowgirl says 'I don't know' in response to some of my questions. "I love having chats with you and learning all about the fun you've had" I said through carefully pursed lips, "and I feel a little sad when you always say 'I don't know'."

And so we agreed that she wouldn't say that anymore.

So here's a converation from this morning:

Me (said peering from the kitchen): What's that thing that Bella's chewing on?

Cowgirl: I don't ..... I don .... I d-..... I ..... ummm ..... I ...... ummm ... I ... ummm ... (then a very long silence). And then, finally, 'I haven't any idea'.

It was fascinating hearing and watching how she was working out an 'alternative' in her little head! (And good use of grammar, by the way.)

So then we had the conversation about how it was okay to say 'I don't know' if you really, really, really don't know the answer. But that it wasn't okay to say 'I don't know' if you were just being lazy. (Can I BE any more contradictory in my parental dribble?)

And once again, it was ME who learned the most this morning.

Sign. I suppose the way the future is going that I'll probably have to read Cowgirl's blog when I want to know what's going on in her world. Hopefully she won't make it a 'private blog' and I'll be 'invited' to join! LOL But when that time comes, I suppose there's always the option of cracking the password on her computer. (Oooops. Did I write that out loud? Heh.Heh. Only joking. )

... Sort of.

xxx

Another Ordinary Sparkling Moment

2009-04-17T08:07:00.003+01:00

Cowgirl (of course) is in the starring role of Cinderella.
Apparently that's the 'wicked witch' on the left.
'Nuff said.

Easter Memories ...

2009-04-14T14:17:00.008+01:00

We enjoyed a fantastic Easter weekend! Had an adventure to the Isle of Wight on Friday to visit dear friends, which is always a wonderful time! Cowgirl and Bella loved the cliffside walk, even in the rain! And both were subsequently tuckered out on the way home!

We then spent Easter Sunday and Easter Monday at grandma and grandad's house for a superb visit, as always. And then a long, long walk along the downs on Easter monday.

Cowgirl took off at her usual marathon pace ... sprinting ahead! But ... awww ... poor poppet apparently felt the push at the end!

Not a happy rambler by the time we got to the car!

But ... our reward was taking in the sights of newly born Easter lambs!
So sweeeeeeeeet!

And then ...

... back to her cheeky self after a tasty snack!

E xxx

We Three Queens?

2009-04-12T13:11:00.000+01:00

And. Oh! The gifts that they bring to our lives!

We enjoyed a splendid weekend up north with our dear friends in Norfolk. It was a true 'thanksgiving', indeed, as we filled our hearts and our memories with precious times.

As you can see from this photo, Cowgirl had the most fabulous time with her friends Aila and Amy. The bond growing between the girls is a sight to warm hearts --- it is nearly impossible to describe the beauty of these friendships with words. It is something to behold with the heart, mind and soul.

If I could sit at the feet of God right now, there are SO many things I want to say a very humble 'thank you' for --- that I would likely fall silent with an overwhelming sense of gratitude hovering over me. So, it is with an open heart that I feel thankfulness for my life and everything that helps to shape it (particularly this precious face and gorgeous soul, below!).

We had SUCH a fantastic time - so relaxing, so loving, so like the sense of community and thanksgiving that sometimes seems out of reach when lives get filled with less than important busy-ness. It's a long journey by car, but somehow, the prize of contentment and love at the destination makes it a much less formidable effort.

Below are Cowgirl and Amy sharing one of many joyful and pure memories together. The girls - Cowgirl, Aila and Amy - are all the same age (4) and all feel so at home with each other now. And all of us mums and dads watch them in sheer admiration at the lifelong bonds they are forming.

Forming our families through adoption is nothing short of a miracle. And now, we all sit in awe at the continuing gifts that adoption brings to all of us. Our families have connected in ways that may never have happened if our daughters hadn't brought us together.

Yes. We are blessed beyond our imagination with the deeply precious friendships that we have formed, courtesy of Cowgirl.

Just look at these precious faces below! Three treasures. Three joys. Three miracles.

Three Queens bearing gifts that no one else in the whole wide world could bestow onto all of our families.

And THAT is just one miracle of this magnificent Season!

E xxx

Sending Happy, Blessed Easter Wishes ...

2009-04-11T14:14:00.009+01:00

... from our home to yours!

Three Motherlands ~ One Loving Family

So Cowgirl and I Are Off to China Tomorrow ...

Talking About Adoption ...

Hope4China Guangxi Girls 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet" ...

Random Summer Fun

Nearly '5'!

Summertime, And The Livin' Is Easy!

It's Spring! And Her Soul Is In Bloom!

In Your Easter Bonnet ...

Hope ... Promise ... Renewal

Simple Fun

It's the Year of the Tiger!

Happy St. Brigid's Day!

Go Placidly ... Be Happy

How Do YOU Spend Your Life?

Welcome to our Ice Palace!!

Improvisation!

Meet The Snow'flakes' (Mr., Mrs. & Child)!

The Feast of My Epiphany

And God Sent An Angel ...

Star with Royal Beauty Bright ...

We Three Queens?

Star of My Thankful Heart!

It's Never Too Late To Have a Happy Childhood!

The Great Pumpkin Patch

NO Scary Pumpkins Here! Just the Sweet Variety!

Well ... I Suppose Sooner Rather Than Later ... is Better?

So ... just WHO is the adult here ... anyway???

Smarty Pants

Fetch!

Once Upon A Time ...

Tiny Dancer!

Reflections on a Memorable Week

Indian Summer!!!

Oh. So. Cute!

School Daze

Pampered Pets???

And She Had ... Fun ... Fun ... Fun ... !!!

And while I'm on the topic of dogs ...

Our 'Other' Bathing Beauty!

The (last of the) Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer

Teaching is a 'Work of Heart'

Under The Cherry Blossom Tree ...

A Happy Ending, Indeed!

Birthday Fun ... (with even MORE to come after tomorrow!)

Look Who's **4** Today!

He, Was Me

All Shall Be Well. And All Shall Be Well. And All Maner of Things Shall Be Well.

Gracefully. Courageously. Patiently.

By The Grace Of My Daughter

Just Add Water ...

Bella's Got A Toyboy!

So. In. Love.

Spinning Plates ... Jumping Through Hoops ... Riding Bicycles Indoors ... And a Cheeky Monkey Running About!

It Takes A Village ... But Does The Village 'Really' Want to Know?

The Cutest Mulan --- Ever!

My Twirly Whirly Girl

Thank You! Thank You! For The Memories!

Those moments ...

So Proud of My Beautiful Girl!

Just Because She's So Lovely ...

Ok. So Now I'm hooked.

She's Gonna Party Like It's ... 2009

'I Don't Know'

Another Ordinary Sparkling Moment

Easter Memories ...

We Three Queens?

Sending Happy, Blessed Easter Wishes ...

Look Who's 4 Today!